The Petty Baby Mama Complex
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Social Media has been on fire with the entire world discussing the picture of Ciara’s 1-year-old son hugging her new beau Russell Wilson. The photograph shows baby Future pictured in Russell Wilson’s arms wearing a jersey with the NFL player’s number on his sleeve. While many are praising this picture, the world has forgotten about how the image is the ultimate form of pettiness on Ciara’s behalf. Why post such a picture when your child’s father publicly made it known that he isn’t comfortable with his child being so close to a man that you just started dating?
Mothers, especially in the African American community, are often taught to be strong and independent, which often leads to the “I don’t need you” personality that many moms in our community possess. My experience as a mother has been affected by this generational attitude, and in the past, it has caused many problems between my kids fathers and myself. The attitude that many of us mothers inherited from our mothers is what I call the Petty Baby Mama Complex and is something that should be addressed in order to improve the parenting style within urban culture.
The Petty Baby Mama Complex is when a mother does everything out of spite to annoy their child’s father in order to please themselves. Ciara is the perfect example of this complex. Should Ciara move on with her life and date people? Absolutely! However, when a woman becomes a mother, her needs and wants are second to her children. When Ciara and Future broke off their engagement, she dropped a record telling him, “I bet you start loving me soon as I start loving someone else/ Somebody better than you.” She is then seen living a perfect fairy tale with Russell Wilson and her son. This is a symptom of emotional behavior and is often the downfall of many moms when it comes to their relationships with their child’s father. It leads to moms often participating in the pettiest things in attempt to annoy child’s father.
I was a “Petty Baby Mama” and it turned me into a bitter woman and I did not give my children the best representation of a healthy parental unit while being one. Mothers have the power to set the tone of the relationship with our child(ren)’s father by placing the needs of the child above all else. We must eliminate the hurt and confusion caused in our lives by the men we CHOSE to procreate with. Pettiness between either parent is a selfish act and can affect the child’s emotional, spiritual and psychological development.
As mothers, we must grasp the strength of our grandmothers so we can raise successful children. If we continue to embrace the Petty Baby Mama Complex, we will ultimately continue to raise children that are emotionally and mentally weaker than prior generations. The time is now for both mothers and fathers to come together as parental partners that respect each other as they raise this world’s next group of creative thinkers. Stop being petty!
Ariel Rainey is a Brand Consultant, Journalist and Mommy Activist that focuses on building brands, writing good content and knowing the latest in entertainment. Nicknamed the Mogul by her clients and following, she is known for being the bridge that connects pop culture with emerging brands. She is also the Founder of the non-profit Hustle Mommies for Moms on the hustle! She can be found on Twitter and Instagram at @ArieltheMogul and on her website www.ArieltheMogul.com.