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Why I Don’t Trust Relationship Experts

Luvvie-cartoonBy//Luvvie

I’m bout up to HERE *puts hand next to my neck* with so-called “relationship experts.” ESPECIALLY when they’re men, and all they do is tell women what they do wrong and why they’re single.

It’s CLEAR that there’s a HUGE demand for relationship experts, as one of the more successful ones just got a show on OWN. This business of tryna fix women’s singlehood is BOOMING and everyone’s jumping in feet first.

Folks are tweeting bad advice followed by #Pleasantries and others are writing terrible slideshow articles with pictures of women in despair to accompany it. Every time an article called “10 reasons why you’re still single” is written, an angel loses her temper and tells you to STFU. And then she throws her harp at you.

This was all brought to my spirit today because while I was minding other people’s my business on Facebook, I saw a status that one of my friends liked and it was so dumb that I wanted to fight my keyboard. I went to the page (which belonged to some dude who called himself a relationship expert) and scrolled some more and read equally stupid ones. And my blood pressure went SKY HIGH. Below are three of em:

  • “Note To Men: The best gift you can give a woman is your last name. Stand behind your word and Show her you Truly Love Her!”
  • “Note To Women: A man has done nothing for you till he has you walk down the aisle and become his wife. Stop idolizing boyfriends!”
  • “Note To Men: Buy a woman a car = 15k-40k, Buy her a house = 100k-500k, Give her your last name = Priceless.”

The theme is obvious. Ladies, you ain’t got SHIT if you aren’t carrying a man’s last name. And men, you need to stop being so selfish and BLESS women with your last name because it is clearly what we’re on this Earth for and nothing will bring us as much joy. O_O

First of all. Marriage is a part of life, not the POINT of it. And it seems homeboy thinks it’s all that matters. My dude, there are some people who actually don’t wanna get married. Does that make them empty? Whatever. I don’t e’em wanna go down that line of debate.

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