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Why I Waited Until Marriage to Have Sex

This past August, Samantha Pugsley wrote an article for xojane.com entitled, “It Happened to Me: I Waited Until My Wedding Night to Lose My Virginity and I Wish I Hadn’t.”

At the time of the article being published, I was a 30-year-old virgin waiting for marriage to have sex. My friends were curious about my thoughts afterward, but the truth is, I couldn’t give a worthy comment. Not until I’d taken her walk in her shoes. Well, here I am, three months after jumping the broom and I must honestly say I am BEYOND elated that I waited for marriage to indulge in sex.

Please don’t put me on a pedestal. To be honest, my initial reason for not having sex is because I was scared. It wasn’t until after I gave my life to Christ, at the age of 17, I knew with the help of God I’d save my virginity for my husband.

Becoming one with a random

Do you know when you have sex with a person, the two of you become one? This is why the Bible says, “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” Ephesians 5:31

I never considered myself to be a super saint, but I knew for sure I never wanted to become one with a random guy. Nope. This type of thing would only go down with my husband.

If he could love my naked soul, then he could love my naked body

I’m well aware that my decision to remain a virgin until marriage may seem old-fashioned. I understand we live in an extremely sex-driven society. I also understand that people change partners like they change their underwear and it’s considered to be completely normal.

This is why the decision to remain abstinent until marriage is a romantic and magical thing. Think about it: You have a partner standing before your family, friends, and most importantly God, committing their entire life to you. It’s a beautiful thing and becomes magical when you consider the fact that they’ve yet to have you sexually.

They’ve debunked everything society says about “testing” out all aspects of a relationship before you truly commit, making the decision to love the soul first. And, if you really think about it, the soul is what will outlast everything else. Our bodies will change, but the soul will remain the same.

Sex is religious

“I don’t go to church anymore, nor am I religious. As I started to heal, I realized that I couldn’t figure out how to be both religious and sexual at the same time. I chose sex.” ~ Samantha Pugsley

I couldn’t believe what I was reading. God created sex! I wonder if Samantha ever read Song of Solomon? It’s pretty sexual, and it’s in the Bible. What about the scripture “Be fruitful and multiply”? (Genesis 1:28) Or the scripture that encourages husbands and wives to give their bodies to each other? (1 Corinthians 7:4) God delights in sex! He made it a beautiful thing. However, it’s so beautiful, God put a fence around it to protect it. That fence, is marriage. It’s an extremely religious, beautiful thing happening as two become one.

God-approved sex is the best sex

I was a 30-year-old virgin, which means sex was NOT easy. I thought my first time would be easy and magical. SO naive. It was hard. I found myself wondering how is it possible for women to become “fast,” or addicted to sex? It was painful and awkward. However, it gets better, thankfully.

And the best part about having sex with your spouse, is you have the rest of your lives to explore and learn each other’s body. It’s easier for me to open up for my husband, when I think about the fact the he’s committed to me and only me, and he proved that by putting a ring on my finger and making me his wife.

It’s also great to have a clear conscious, knowing you’re engaging in sex how God created it to be enjoyed: between husband and wife.

Purity is possible

I’m no angel. There were times I wanted to have sex before I got married. It became extremely hard once I got engaged, because I just wanted to give my future husband all of me. However, I’m a firm believer that with God all things are possible (Matthew 19:26). God can keep you, if you want to be kept. Surprisingly, I wasn’t the only virgin in my circle of friends. There are plenty of people around the globe choosing to abstain from sex before marriage, and it’s a wonderful thing. Trust me, it’s worth the wait.

Do you think it’s worth waiting to have sex until you’re married? Share your thoughts in the comments!

About Nikki Carpenter

Nikki Carpenter

Writer. Social Media Manager. Community Activist.

www.nikkiandthecity.com