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Moment Of Clarity

Time to Reconsider Your Friendship?

We’ve all heard that saying that relationships can last for a season or a lifetime. Some people so desperately want relationships that last a lifetime that they hold onto relationships that are only meant to last for a season, or a short while.

Chances are if you’ve questioned whether or not you want to still be friends with someone, it may be time to re-evaluate your friendship with them. This does not mean that you will decide to end the relationship. Instead, it merely suggests that you re-consider a different relationship moving forward.

1) Illegal activity. “Birds of a feather flock together.” Very little, if anything, can come from anything illegal. Chances are if they get caught, you will too.

2) You’re their punching bag. This can be emotionally or physically. A lot of “friends” think that if they are having a bad day, their friends will understand and put up with their verbal, emotional, or even physical thrashings. NOT TRUE! While it is normal for everyone to get upset and yell at our friends, it is not normal to make it a practice and it is a requirement that you own your behavior. Friends are not punching bags. If you find yourself taking out your frustrations on your friends, then you need to talk with a professional.

3) Only call when they need you. Yes, we are all busy and tend to reach out when we are having a problem. However, if they only reach out when they have a problem then you are hardly in a friendship.

4) Interfere with your relationships. Friends take special care not to stick their nose into relationships. And, if they do, they use discernment and tact. At no point should they talk with non-friends about your relationships, especially if there is friction with the other person.

5) Lie a lot. Perspective is one thing, outright denial and deception is another.

Moving on and ending a friendship doesn’t have to be difficult. Oftentimes, people just grow apart and that alone can address the issue. Other times, it is healthy or necessary to have a conversation with your friend. Letting them know the reasons we feel the need to change the relationship can help them understand the dynamics that led to the decision. It can also help them grow as a person – if they let it.

The type of relationship you decide to have is completely up to you. With that said, remember that if a relationship takes away your joy and fills you with sadness and misery it may be time to let it go.

I hope this was helpful. With love and light, I wish you pleasant journeys!

Have you ever had to end a friendship? Tell me why and how you did it in the comments below!

Jinnie Cristerna, LCSW

Do you have a question for our “Moment of Clarity” JET Therapist, Jinnie? Email us at talkback@jetmag.com. We’ll be sure to keep it anonymous and confidential. 

Jinnie Cristerna, affectionately known as “The High Achievers Therapist”, works with talented people to help them release emotional pain and psychological roadblocks so they can achieve their personal and professional goals. Specializing in psychotherapy, heart centered hypnotherapy, vibrational energy, meditation, and personality development, Jinnie has a nearly 90 percent success rate with her clients.  Sign up for Jinnie’s High Achiever newsletter here or join her on Facebook and Twitter!