Moment Of Clarity

Take Control of Your Life

How often do you try to control what happens in your life? Chances are…a lot. Seriously, who hasn’t made the promise that they would never drink or date a certain “type” of person, again – ever?

While we often tell ourselves and others that we will not make the same mistake again or let anyone else hurt us, it’s not unusual to turn around and find ourselves in the same situation…again.

So, how do you avoid making the same choices so you can in fact create a different life for yourself?

The answer? By changing the meaning of the experience.

You may be wondering two things: 1) What does that mean? 2) How do you do that?

What does it mean to change the meaning of your experience?

When you change the meaning of your experience, you shift from just expressing how you feel about what has happened to interpreting what that experience says about or means to you.

In other words, look for the lessons the experience holds for you so you can heal and grow as an individual. In order to do this effectively, you need to shift from looking at what caused your pain or plight to how you can use it to grow in a way that is healthy.

The reason it’s important to not stay stuck in expressing the negative emotion is simple: the negative emotion gains power and does not allow you to heal. Once you begin to interpret your experience differently, you become motivated to take charge of your life in a more productive way.

How do you change the meaning of your experience?

In order to change the meaning of your experience, you have to focus on your value or the value you would like to create in your life. When you look at the value you really have, you begin to see the world as your oyster because you will have the power to create the life you want.

For example, a man has been robbed three times coming home from work. The meaning he gives to the experience is he is weak, unaware, and vulnerable. Then he asks himself, “What is the lesson of this experience? What can I do to improve myself?” The new meaning he came up with was realizing that he is smart, proactive, and resourceful. He decides to become present in every moment, trust his intuition, and learn how to protect himself. He signs up for self-defense classes, pays more attention to his surroundings, and alters his route when possible. Since he lives in a high crime area, he also begins to look for a new home in a safer neighborhood.

The ability to create meaning in our life is totally under our control and is, in fact, the only thing we can control. If you don’t believe me, think about the negative meaning we easily assign to our experiences: “I’m not good enough. I’ll never get promoted. No one likes me.” Now, if you take the time and make the effort to create meaning that is value-based, you create a momentum to alter your future in a way that transcends your dreams.

Go ahead, try it and tell me how it works for you!

With love and light, I wish you pleasant journeys.

Jinnie Cristerna, LCSW

Do you have a question for our “Moment of Clarity” JET Therapist, Jinnie? Email us at We’ll be sure to keep it anonymous and confidential. 

Jinnie Cristerna, affectionately known as “The High Achievers Therapist”, works with talented people to help them release emotional pain and psychological roadblocks so they can achieve their personal and professional goals. Specializing in clinical and spiritual psychotherapy, heart centered hypnotherapy, vibrational energy, meditation, and RoHun.  Sign up for Jinnie’s High Achiever newsletter here or join her on Facebook and Twitter!