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Moment Of Clarity

Are You Socially Challenged?

Our resident therapist helps you determine if you are socially challenged and see how you can change it!
Credit: Thinkstock

We understand.  Sometimes, problems with romantic relationships,  friendships, career or family life get you down. And we want to help. That’s why JET is working with therapist, Jinnie Cristerna, who will take your questions and offer some sage, sanity-restoring advice and insight every week.

Jinnie Cristerna, LCSW, CHt.

Jinnie Cristerna, LCSW, CHt.

How many of you interact with individuals who are really smart or competent, but have poor interpersonal skills? On the other hand, how many of you are considered by others to be the one who is ‘Socially Challenged”? Here are a few tips to dealing with both sides of the dilemma.

DETERMINE IF YOU ARE SOCIALLY CHALLENGED:

Answer the following questions:

1) Do people avoid you in social settings?

2) Do people change the topic of conversation when you come around?

3) Do people seek you out to include you in conversations or events?

4) Do you feel awkward or out of place when you’re in social situations?

5) Has anyone told you that it’s difficult to engage you in a conversation?

If you answered yes to at least three of the questions, you may be socially challenged. Read below to see how you move from being socially challenged to socially competent. It’s pretty easy and fun!

IF YOU ARE SOCIALLY CHALLENGED:

1) Stop being defensive and do something about it. If at least three people think you are awkward in social situations, then chances are you are awkward in social situations!

2) Find a personal or executive coach or therapist to help you become more socially aware. Most of the time, it is just a matter of identifying and understanding the environment you are in and the culture of that environment.

3) Put forth a sincere effort and stick with it. It hurts at first and feels pretty weird, for you and others, but over time it will get better.

DEALING WITH THE SOCIALLY CHALLENGED:

1) Find something about them that you like.

2) Engage them as a ‘buddy’ or share ‘tips’ on how they can improve their interactions with others.

3) If they brush you off or are just plain rude, let them know what you need from them and why. If they continue to be difficult, then chances are there are some other issues present. Talk with a supervisor or human resources person for assistance in the matter.

4) The last option is to avoid them altogether, if possible. While I do not recommend this, it may be necessary depending on the situation.

With love and light …

Jinnie

Do you have a question for our “Moment of Clarity” JET Therapist, Jinnie? Email us at digitalpitches@ebony.com. We’ll be sure to keep it anonymous and confidential. 

Jinnie Cristerna, affectionately known as “The High Achievers Therapist”, works with talented people to help them release emotional pain and psychological roadblocks so they can achieve their personal and professional goals. Specializing in psychotherapy, heart centered hypnotherapy, vibrational energy, meditation, and personality development, Jinnie has a nearly 90% success rate with her clients.  Sign up for Jinnie’s High Achiever newsletter here or join her on Facebook and Twitter!