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Moment Of Clarity

The Power of a Mother

I have four children and Mother’s Day is a special day for me. While I love and look forward to the gifts my children make for me, I also look forward to reflecting on my role as a parent that year. At first, I was self-conscious about this type of reflection, but as time went on, I learned that a lot of mothers reflect in one way or another.

I noticed that the reflections mothers have vary from year to year, depending on the circumstances and her experiences. Some years are full of amazing joys, while others are swollen with sorrow. Then there are those years that we count our blessings because we want to remember the good that balanced it all out.

All in all, each mother comes to the realization that she has learned lessons that are unique to her in her own time and way. While some of these lessons can be painful, they serve to help her face her own demons, push through her own self-doubt, and embrace her divine wisdom.

With the intent of continued growth, the following are the four main lessons that every mother learns at some point in her life:

1) Love is nothing like I thought it was. At 8-years-old, the man I was going to marry would bring me flowers everyday and kiss me before he went to work and when he came home. That’s when I was eight. When you become a mother, you realize there all several types of love: crazy love, angry love, passionate love, polite love, distant love, tough love, unconditional love, friendly love, compassionate love, and “you’re getting on my nerves” love. In the end, you understand that love isn’t neat and doesn’t fit into a box. When you see your child for the first time (each one of them), you fall in love in a way that transcends words. In that instant, you understand that love isn’t neat.

2) I am stronger than I ever knew. While you may have been a tough cookie before motherhood, afterwards, you realize that soft is the new hard. Humility becomes your neighbor and you succumb to the reality that even if you don’t like it, you’re going to pass it an awful lot so you’d better be on speaking terms. It is in falling into your humility that you face your fears, shame, and guilt like a boss. The phrase, “I’m sorry” is important for you to hear as it is to say; but only if it’s genuine.

3) I am someone’s SHERO. When we are little, we pretend to be Princesses and superheroes like Wonder Woman, but who would’ve thought that we would be real life superheroes? Newsflash: every kid thinks her mom is awesome at some point. When this happens, most moms are stupefied and humbled. Our kids want to be like us and recite our words of infinite wisdom as if it were the gospel of Christ because they trust everything we do and say. When we realize this, we become very intentional about what we say, do and teach them.

4) I matter. It is because of the first three that you realize how important you are. Everything you do, say, feel, and think is important. Oftentimes, we don’t realize it until long after the seed has been planted. You see the importance and value of teaching your child to say “please,” “thank you,” and to share and compliment others. You gladly sacrifice the things you want so your child doesn’t know the pain of struggle – sometimes to a fault. You realize that you impact the world in a way that will leave an imprint for generations to come.

There are so many more lessons that mothers learn. I would love for you to share what you’ve learned in the comments section.

To every mother in the world, Happy Mother’s Day! from my heart to yours. You have THE most important job in the world. So, keep your head up and do your best to raise your child to become all they can be. We are all cheering for you and celebrate you this and everyday.

With love and light, I wish you pleasant journeys.

Jinnie

Jinnie Cristerna, LCSW

Do you have a question for our “Moment of Clarity” JET Therapist, Jinnie? Email us at digitalpitches@ebony.com. We’ll be sure to keep it anonymous and confidential. 

Jinnie Cristerna, affectionately known as “The High Achievers Therapist”, works with talented people to help them release emotional pain and psychological roadblocks so they can achieve their personal and professional goals. Specializing in psychotherapy, heart centered hypnotherapy, vibrational energy, meditation, and personality development.  Sign up for Jinnie’s High Achiever newsletter here or join her on Facebook and Twitter!