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Moment Of Clarity

Living in Your Feelings

“When we live in our feelings, we live in a world that is colored by emotion.” ~Jinnie Cristerna, LCSW, CHt

Back in the day, we used to say that people who felt sad (or some other form of negative emotion) were living in their feelings. Living in your feelings simply means that a particular emotion becomes the lens through which you see and experience the world.

For example, if you are constantly sad, everything you experience is filtered through your sadness and it is difficult to feel or fully appreciate emotions such as joy, love or hope. And when you do feel positive emotions, they are fleeting and forgotten because your feelings of sadness take over and remind you of how crappy things “really” are.

Now, the same can be said about those who live in the feelings of love, joy, and happiness. When we live in these feelings, we see the beauty in our world and the potential in everything, including our challenges.

It is only through love that we use everything around us to grow and live our divine purpose. We come to learn that everything happens for a reason and every person enters our life to help us. Even the mean ones. Correction, ESPECIALLY THE MEAN ONES.

I am not pushing for you to sign up to be abused. I am simply saying that life always presents us with many ways to learn our lessons if we allow ourselves to be present in each moment.

Here are a few ways you can live in your positive emotions and create a life of love, hope, and joy:

1) Take responsibility for your bag of crap. Yeah, you have a bag of crap and it’s probably bigger than all outside.         Own it anyway. Owning your own pain and condemnation humbles you and reminds you that you’re human.

2) Take responsibility for your choices. No one makes you do anything. While there are some choices that are more persuasive than others, you still have a choice. Every choice comes with consequences – good and bad. While we are usually happy to receive all of the good that comes from the choices we make, we usually run from the bad. But life doesn’t work that way.

3) Stop blaming others for your unhappiness. Whenever you blame someone for your unhappiness, you become powerless. And the longer you feel powerless, the harder it is to take control of your life. Take back your power by choosing to be happy and surrounding yourself with people, things, and places that help you connect with that part of yourself. The happier you are, the more of joy you attract.

4) Remind yourself that you have survived 100% of everything that was supposed to destroy you. I often chuckle when people talk about how weak and helpless they are. My reply to them is, “Wow…and you are still here. Tell me how that happened!” In that moment, people hear themselves and begin to connect with parts of themselves that are strong, brave, and persistent.

5) Meditate or pray. Here’s a secret that you can’t tell anyone … it’s the same thing. Well, sort of. They both use the same theta state in order to calm the mind. So if you’re able, take a minute to calm your mind. You’ll be surprised at what comes to you in moments of silence.

6) Let go of anything that no longer serves your highest good (and, yes, that includes people.) Anything that is unhealthy or stunts our growth should be released. This doesn’t mean that you kick everyone and everything out of your life. It simply means that you have to start being intentional in terms of what you want in your life and when you want it (including people).

7) Face your fears. As Uncle Remus said, “You can’t run from trouble, ain’t no place that far.” If you notice that the same situations keep coming up in your life, it’s because you didn’t learn the lesson … yet. Take a minute and finish it the right way so you can be through with it.

8) Embrace your gifts. You really do have some amazing talents! Take the time to find out what they are and develop them, if you don’t already know.

9) Forgive yourself. Yeah, you’re gonna screw up. That’s part of life and figuring stuff out. Talk yourself through it by remembering how brave and strong you are.

10) “See the light in everyone and treat them as if that is all you see.” ~Wayne Dyer. This practice forces you to look at the world through the lens of love because that’s what light is.

I hope this was helpful. Remember to live in your emotions! Just make sure they are the high ones…

With love and light. I wish you all pleasant journeys!

Jinnie Cristerna, LCSW

Do you have a question for our “Moment of Clarity” JET Therapist, Jinnie? Email us at digitalpitches@ebony.com. We’ll be sure to keep it anonymous and confidential. 

Jinnie Cristerna, affectionately known as “The High Achievers Therapist”, works with talented people to help them release emotional pain and psychological roadblocks so they can achieve their personal and professional goals. Specializing in psychotherapy, heart centered hypnotherapy, vibrational energy, meditation, and personality development.  Sign up for Jinnie’s High Achiever newsletter here or join her on Facebook and Twitter!