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Moment Of Clarity

Healing Your Pain

When we become adults, we look back on our lives and begin to realize that certain experiences shaped our perception and personalities more than others.

Our parents aren’t perfect and they did the best they could with what they had. Despite knowing that, we carry the pain of their imperfections long into adulthood. Some people even die carrying the pain they experienced from their parents: abuse, disappointment, unworthiness, helplessness, anger, fear, or judgment.

While our parents may have contributed to some, most or all of our challenges as adults, there comes a point where we have to choose to take responsibility for healing our own pain. When we choose to heal our pain, we are choosing to take responsibility for our happiness, joy, and life; and the world opens up to us.

Some people wonder if fixing our pain is the same as healing and the answer is, not really. Fixing focuses on what is wrong with you or your life and tries to get rid of and replace it with something else. On the other hand, healing takes “fixing” to another level. Healing takes what no longer works for you and evolves into something more aligned with who you are and aspire to be.

Nothing is ever wasted; nothing is ever thrown away.

In other words, we look for the lessons in your experience – the gold – and we use that to build something wonderful and intentional in our life. Everything we experience is valuable and teaches us the lessons we need to learn. This is how we determine what we do and don’t want so we can create a life that suits us.

When we heal our pain, we know out loud those things we hide from and keep secret inside of us. We can now know these things without the shame or guilt. Healing helps us to learn how to forgive and have compassion for ourselves so we can in turn forgive and have compassion for others. When we heal, we can find peace and leave the hell that has trapped us for much of our life.

In fact, many of us live in hells that we have created for ourselves and then get angry when we don’t see heaven. For example, how many people do you know (it could even be you) stay in unhealthy relationships just to make sure their partner feels the same pain they feel (e.g. “Since I’m not happy, you won’t be happy.”)? That’s hell and that’s a choice.

In all fairness, we’re often unable to see the hells we’ve created for ourselves whereas others can see it clearly. The easiest way to determine if we have created our own hell is to take an inventory of who is to blame for our current condition. If we notice that it is someone else’s fault that our life is the way it is, there’s a good chance that we have created our own hell.

However, there’s a bright side! If you have created your hell, you can also free yourself from it. The best and fastest way to do this is taking a safe, but honest look at how you create certain situations in your life. Yhandi’s Inner Light is a wonderful therapy designed specifically for this. If you want to go deeper, then Rohun therapy is excellent. If you want to just take a peek and see what’s there then Heart Centered Hypnotherapy would be a great option.

You deserve to be happy and live your fullest life. By healing and releasing what no longer serves your highest good, taking back your power, and deciding to no longer blame others for your circumstances, you can become that amazing and divine person you know you are.

I hope this was helpful. With love and light, I wish you pleasant journeys.

Jinnie Cristerna, LCSW

Do you have a question for our “Moment of Clarity” JET Therapist, Jinnie? Email us at digitalpitches@ebony.com. We’ll be sure to keep it anonymous and confidential. 

Jinnie Cristerna, affectionately known as “The High Achievers Therapist”, works with talented people to help them release emotional pain and psychological roadblocks so they can achieve their personal and professional goals. Specializing in clinical and spiritual psychotherapy, heart centered hypnotherapy, vibrational energy, meditation, Yhandi and RoHun.  Sign up for Jinnie’s High Achiever newsletter, join her on Facebook and Twitter, or view her self-help books!