Yeezy Taught Me: Kanye’s Social Skills Lesson

Photo: SNL

Oh boy.  Forget about Kim Kardashian West balancing a glass of bubbly on her butt.

Her husband just ripped the Internet asunder with a crazy feud with (normally) king-of-chill Wiz Khalifa.  The two, in the midst of a battle about the name of Kanye West’s new album, seemingly went to the past of no return and then traveled another 200 miles.

West, mistaking one of Wiz’s tweets for a smack against his wife, opted for the nuclear option, insulting Wiz, his way of life, his music, his taste in women, his baby’s mother/Kanye’s ex and the chubby-cheeked babe himself.

It was, in a word, crazy and continues to be trending even though West must have come to his senses and deleted the tweets.  Welp, the Tweets ain’t go nowhere.  Of course folks seized them.  And now those same folks are rolling all over the floor laughing at Amber Rose’s pithy clapback, the memes that the clapback inspired and everything else ‘Ye-related.

Some are appalled at the depths to which Mr. West went in his effort to ether young Wiz.

But no matter where you stand on this topic, there is one thing we cannot dispute. This clearly teaches us several vital Social Skills, a topic I often approach on our sister site and will now share with the fam.  Some of the more hot-headed among you may want to pay special attention.  **clears throat**

1. Stay out of your feelings.

Feelings are a warm, crystal pool that we all fall into from time to time.  It’s especially easy to dive in there when you are having a conversation in what you perceive to be a public place.  Veiled insults and slights are much worse when you suspect others know you are being talked about. News flash: Unless you are tagged in communications, you will never truly know if a person is trying to get @ you.  That said, don’t allow your guilt or sensitive nature to get you into an unwinnable dust-up.  Had ‘Ye known or remembered what KK was, this ugliness could have been avoided.  But don’t laugh at him because remember that time you thought your cousin was shading you for missing a family cookout and then found out he wasn’t studying you at all?  Yeah, it happened…it’s just that Billboard and Mashable weren’t interested in your attitudinal sub-comment.

2. Don’t fight fire with a nuclear warhead.

Those of us with siblings know self-defense is a necessary skill.  You don’t want to be a doormat and typically, good parents won’t let even your little sisters or brothers beat you to a pulp.  Maybe one little tap back will teach even the most sinister sib that an action can net an equal and opposite reaction.  However, there is such a thing as taking your vengeance too far.  If your little bro steals the last bite of your sandwich, you can’t break out The Rock’s People Elbow on him and expect to be excused.  Maybe you just eat the last bite of his dessert.  Eye for an eye, you know? To be more specific…

3. Leave people’s family members out of your foolery.

We as Black people invented the dozens, and as such, are uncontested in its application.  However, this can also lead to fist, knife, and gun fights.  Adding these bouts to the Interwebs raises the stakes, adds online instigators and can never truly be erased.  It may feel good to “clapback” one good time, but unless you don’t mind your Big Mama n’em reviewing a screenshot of your battle to the death, I’d suggest you trade glory for God-given self control.

4. Know when to quit…don’t fall prey to The People.

You know how Don King used to hype up Mike Tyson? You remember how 2 Big MC used to chase Hammer around the stage screaming his name?  You’ve seen that one Key and Peele sketch with the trademark shout “Noiiice”? Sure you have.  And you also know that friends (or strangers) on the sideline can make it all but impossible for you to admit defeat. That’s when you’ll start going for the low blows and that brings me to my next point.

5. Nothing is ever really erased from the Internet.

I am so grateful that my mother was a schoolteacher.  One of the very many important lessons she taught me: Do not write anything down. That’s right, no slick-talking sheets of notebook paper, angry e-mails, passenger pigeon scrolls, none of that.  Nobody can prove (unless they are ridiculous enough to record you) what you said in person or on the phone.  If you’ve got an issue that needs airing out, comment boxes and 140-character barriers are not the place for it.  Snapchat either, as it’s been proven that what happens in the Snap doesn’t always stay in the Snap.