Boss Up

How to Turn Your Pain Into a Paycheck

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In 2010, I ended an engagement that had become a toxic and abusive situation. Despite his efforts to diminish my self-esteem, I came out feeling stronger than ever; realizing that I could survive ANY situation. Afterward, I spent the next eight months on a journey of self-discovery, reading every self-help and success book I could get my hands on.

Instead of jumping back into the dating world, I really wanted to figure out my role in the disastrous relationship so that I would never make the same mistakes again. I also wanted to learn new skills so I could be more confident when I did begin to date. I decided to start with the basics- becoming a better cook. That’s when I began hosting cooking parties in my home. About 12 girlfriends and I would meet on Sundays, bringing a dish and a recipe in hopes of learning how to prepare new dishes for our future husbands. At one of these meetings, we began to discuss the need for other skills and began planning activities and hosting workshops in my living room. Once the pictures landed on social media, a business was born…

What started as a single woman searching for answers and seeking self-improvement has become an international movement, The Single Wives Club. A Single Wife is a woman who’s enjoying her single life while preparing to become a wife. We now have a membership program with over 250 women across the country.

When I look back on it all, I realize that everything I’ve experienced has added to my toolbox. Everything truly happens for a reason and the most successful Entrepreneurs are those whose profit began as a problem, the ones who have a personal lesson to teach the world based on their experiences.

This is how I managed to turn my pain into a paycheck:

1. Take an honest assessment of the lessons learned
There has been something in your life that probably caused a tremendous amount of pain and taught you a major lesson. Figure out the underlying message and find a way to teach this lesson to the world. Whether you’ve been a victim of domestic abuse, have managed to lose a tremendous amount of weight or have mastered interview skills because of unemployment–you’ve been given a lesson to teach the world!

My lesson was realizing that I was unprepared to become a wife because I had not fully become a woman. Through The Single Wives Club, I’m now able to help hundreds of single ladies become better women before becoming wives.

2. Create a list of gifts, talents and skills

In the midst of my soul searching, I’d realized I was going overseas to teach for all the wrong reasons and found myself unemployed. So I had to switch gears from soul searching to job hunting. Here I was with a Bachelors AND Masters degree and I couldn’t even get a substitute teaching position. This led me to a new task- taking an inventory of all of my skills, talents and lessons learned.

I had to create hustles and soon found myself making more money than I had been teaching. This helped me realize how easy it was to create streams of income. What are you naturally good at? What talents have you had since you were a child? What things do people commonly ask for your help with? These are your gifts and talents. When I created my list in 2011, I realized I’ve always loved organizing people and planning events. For as long as I could remember, I’ve been organizing my friends, groups at school, even at work. This is something I naturally did and loved to do. Now, I’m able to plan major events that organize women for the purpose of self-development.

I also realized that part of my purpose is to educate and empower women. So, I’ve taken the skills learned in attaining my degrees along with my experience as an elementary teacher to create curriculums and plan lessons for the WERKshops I teach. Although I’m no longer a classroom teacher, those skills were not lost. What skills have you developed that you could use for profit? What skills have you sharpened working your 9-5? Get creative and find a way to profit from those skills. Whether you’re a human resource specialist, computer technician or even a nurse-you have skills and talents that you can use for profit.

3. Put in WERK

You’ve heard that anything worth having is worth working for. Well, when I teach my WERKshops, I always tell my students how important it is to invest in themselves and their future. My favorite phrase is “You can WISH or you can WERK.”

WERK is a term that I use to refer to the time dedicated to your dream. It’s the energy used to design your destiny. It’s the hours after your corporate job that you spend building your brand. It’s all of the time spent reading books to enhance your craft. That’s putting in WERK.

When you’re able to find time each day to invest in yourself, you will begin to see major payoffs. One hour of WERK is only 4 percent of your day and I’m willing to bet you can afford to invest more than just 4 percent.

Remember that all of the lessons you’ve learned–you owe it to yourself to live a life you love!

About Koereyelle Dubose


Creative, knowledgeable, and dedicated, Koereyelle DuBose is an educator and entrepreneur whose goal is to empower women worldwide. In addition to founding The Single Wives Club, she is also host of a weekly Blog Talk Radio Show, R.E.A.L. Single Wives Radio and monthly web series where they Reveal Everything About Love. Koereyelle also shares her adventures and experience as “The Single Wife” – a single woman setting standards for herself and the men in her life.

Follow BOSS Member Koereyelle and view her website

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