It’s fair to say that when most people get married, they hope for happily ever after. Why enter such a serious commitment if you aren’t in it for the long haul? And why say, “I do,” unless you plan on sharing days of joy with the one you chose?
Although talks about high divorce rates and infidelity can make people think happy marriages are only on TV, that just isn’t true. Happy marriages are everywhere. Your definition of happiness may be different from another couple’s, but as long as both people in a marriage are happy, that’s all that matters.
All over the world couples are growing together, working through challenges, and doing what it takes to make their marriages happier and stronger with each passing year.
So what’s the secret behind the happily married couples out there? How do they make things work?
Here are 9 things that happily married couples don’t do. I’m not sure how much of a secret they are, but staying clear of these things definitely seems like a great step towards happily ever after.
When couples fight dirty, no one ever wins. If you get into an argument with your spouse, try to stick to the topic at hand. Hurting feelings, being mean, and bringing up old stuff never helps and always leaves someone feeling small. That’s not an effective way to work through any conflict.
When you have an issue with your spouse, sharing that with the world is not the way to work through your issue. When you tell your friends and family about all the mistakes your spouse has made, they will always look at your spouse through that tainted lens. It’s okay to lean on friends and family for support, but sharing it all just isn’t necessary.
When conflict arises, some of us have an impulse to shut down. But try not to. It’s okay to request a little time and space so you can process what’s going on, but shutting down and ignoring your spouse and the issue can lead to more pain.
When things go wrong, the best way forward is to look at the role you played, if any, and think about a way to move forward. Time spent placing blame and pointing fingers doesn’t help anyone heal. If each person takes personal responsibility for the role they played, there is no need to ever point fingers.
For more, check out the full article on BlackandMarriedWithKids.com