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Wedding Wisdom

W.W.E.D.: What Would Emily Post Do?

Welcome to Wedding Wisdom! Every week, wedding planner Tami Smallwood-Brown, CEO of blush|WEDDING & EVENT PLANNING FIRM gives tips to help you plan your dream nuptials from engagement to “I do.” This week, Tami shares her tips on etiquette for contemporary wedding issues.

Photo courtesy of Cellar Door Photography.

Photo courtesy of Cellar Door Photography.

In almost every area of the wedding planning process, the couple will encounter a question regarding etiquette.  The essential reference for wedding etiquette stems from Emily Post‘s classic treatise on comportment from 1922. In 2014, however, there are a few areas of etiquette that Emily’s traditional book may not directly address.

This week, I answer the question…”What Would Emily Do?”

Social Media

Question: I’m engaged!! How soon can I share my news and photos on social media? 

Answer: It’s understandable that you may want to start taking “selfies” as soon as your guy puts a ring on it, but make sure that you and your new fiancé have personally contacted your closest friends and family first. Someone could be hurt if they find out that you’re engaged from a Facebook post.

wwed engagement selfie

Question: All of my friends and family have email. Can’t I just save on postage and send my invitation electronically?

Answer: Although there are a couple of websites that offer wedding invitations and thank-you cards via email, keep in mind that your wedding is an intimate day to be shared with those you love dearly. Keep that feeling going in your invitations and thank-you cards – intimate, not electronic.

wwed stationery

Family and friends

Question: My dad is deceased and my uncle played a huge part in raising me. Is it OK for my uncle to walk me down the aisle?

Answer: With more and more changes in family composition and dynamics, an alternative to the father of the bride give-away may be required. Remember that you can select who you want — or no one at all. Be sure, however, to check with your church and/or officiant to see if there are any restrictions in this area before asking the person you may have in mind.

wwed father of the bride

Question: My best friend is a guy and I can’t think of anyone else for my person of honor. Can he stand my side on my Big Day?

Answer: Can your brother or best guy friend stand on your side with the other bridesmaids? Maybe not in the day of Emily Post, but today … absolutely! Just make sure that you adjust the attendants’ duties, if necessary. For example, perhaps your man of honor should get dressed with the other guys on the day of the wedding out of respect for your husband-to-be.

wwed bridesmaids
The Wedding Day

Question: Must I have a receiving line? This is an old tradition which many couples don’t opt for these days. It can be awkward and time consuming.

Answer: If you decide to include this in your wedding day, be sure to follow the correct order in line. It is completely acceptable to forego the receiving line, just be sure that you take time during the reception to greet each guest with hugs and “thank yous.”

wwed receiving line

YOUR TURN: We would love to hear from you. What are your contemporary etiquette questions? Leave your questions in the comments below.

Pictures courtesy of Pinterest.