Wedding Wisdom

Planning Advice for Grooms

Our fiance

Welcome to Wedding Wisdom! Every week, JET experts will help you plan your dream nuptials from engagement to “I do.” This week, wedding planner and bride-to-be Tami Smallwood, CEO of blush|WEDDING & EVENT PLANNING FIRM, gives advice to grooms planning their wedding.

Photo courtesy of Cellar Door Photography.

Photo courtesy of Cellar Door Photography.

Recently, grooms have become more involved in the wedding planning process than ever before. In the last few years, I have had a surprising number of couples come in together for consultations. Early in my career, most brides came in with their moms or a bridesmaid and we wouldn’t meet the groom until later in the process.  I am so happy to see this growing trend of involved grooms!

While reading industry news, I came across a touching story of a groom who planned his entire wedding (as a surprise for his bride). He flew his girlfriend to Miami, popped the question and they were married all in the same day. Talk about a tear jerker! Here’s the story.

If you’re a groom wanting to take on the challenge of planning your entire day, much like the young man in the video, here’s how to pull it off:

Have a game plan.  Before going any further you must establish a plan–and a backup plan. Having an organized plan in place can save you so much time and so many headaches.

If you’re a little unsure how to pull it off, hire a planner. The investment will be well worth it. You still get all the accolades of planning your big day without a hitch.

Be creative!  In a world of awesome proposals and weddings – make it memorable. Think of places, moments and colors that are special to the two of you and incorporate them into your day!

Keep it a surprise.  If the bride catches wind to what you’re doing, she will want in on the planning. Take phone calls at work or when you’re apart. Try to do most of the planning via email. It will be impossible for her to see what’s going on this way.

Find out what she wants.  Take a look at her wish list. This groom went to his bride’s Pinterest page to figure out what she wanted. Chances are your bride-to-be has left a trail of wedding wishes somewhere. It’s your job to find them.  Enlist the help of her closest friend or someone who knows her well. Just make sure that person won’t spill the beans or break under pressure.

Now here are some tips for brides in the know. If you have given your groom the green light on planning your nuptials, please keep these things in mind:

Take it all in. Have an open mind and an open heart. Your groom is doing an awesome thing! He loves you immensely to take on the challenges of planning the wedding without you.

Go with the flow.  He’s taking care of everything.  Let the execution of love and planning commence.

Be grateful.  You are so lucky to have your guy serve you in this capacity. Even if there are details that are not your very favorite, acknowledge his efforts and remember all the hard work that goes into planning a wedding.

And if you’re the groom who just wants to be more involved–but not take over the reins completely–here are some tips for you:

Partner with your bride on as much as possible.  Besides dress shopping (and even dress shopping for some couples), you should make yourself available.

Actively participate.  Come to the table with ideas.  Be present.  Have opinions on menu choices and stationery idea. Your bride wants you there because she values your opinion.

Do your due diligence.  Check out websites such as This is a great resource for researching and learning how to be “a good groom.”  The site covers everything from the perfect toast to wedding budgeting tips.  Another great site for grooms is It offers tips ranging from planning your engagement to stripper-free bachelor party ideas.

Check out our post –“Open Letter to Lebron James” for more tips on how to be a good groom!