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JET Love

6 Signs You’re Too Good for Your Mate

“You think you’re better than me? You think you’re too good for me?”

I’ve been on the receiving end of this line of questioning a few of times in my life. My initial response was one of defensiveness or blatant denial. Of course I didn’t think I was better than anyone else, especially not my partner. I dare the same people to ask me that same question today. My answer? “Hell yeah.”

Attracting who we deserve requires us to admit to ourselves that there are some individuals who are not or never will be on the same wavelength as we are. Disassociating yourself from people who are not on your level is mandatory for personal and intimate advancement. You cannot be afraid to tell yourself you deserve better!

There is a fine line between arrogance and self assurance.  Arrogance shows up in the belittling and destroying of others’ self-esteem. This is different than knowing your worth and holding yourself and your lover to the highest of standards — which is perfectly acceptable behavior. Having standards symbolizes self-worth.

Here are six signs you may be accepting less than what you deserve.

1) You feel stagnated.

This week, I had a deep conversation with a few trusted girlfriends. We discussed the difference between someone who is intentionally pulling you down and a person who is subtly hindering your progress. Dating an individual who is not mentally, emotionally, spiritually, or professionally on your level places you in a position to fail. You’ll feel obligated to slow down your own progress to drag them along, which will eventually lead to you feeling resentful and frustrated.

2) Your mate belittles your achievements.

If your partner makes it his or her business to constantly put your shortcomings on display, this should be alarming to you. Any person who truly loves you and cares about your feelings will put forth an immense amount of energy to make you feel beautiful, intelligent, capable, honored, respected, and valued. When there are areas of opportunities for you to work on, not only will your partner find a loving way to communicate that to you, but they will support you in improving.

3) He or she is rude to others. 

Be observant of how your partner treats other people. If your significant other is a rude, mean, bitter, or harsh person towards other people that you will somehow be exempt from their wrath.

4) Your mate does not take responsibility for their actions.

I dated a man who was forever the victim. Every misfortune in his life was due to the actions of other people, never him. Even in adulthood, he lived in a state of denial. Refusing to admit that he was the reason his life was in disarray prevented him from making any real changes. If you are dating a person who is unable to see how they are contributing to their circumstances, this may come back to bite you in the butt.

5) You are left questioning yourself.

If you are dating someone who makes you doubt and question yourself, this is a sure sign that you deserve better. A relationship should never leave you worse off than when you entered it. If at the beginning of the relationship you were a healthy, vibrant, energetic person and now you are overwhelmed with self-doubt, insecurities, and trust issues, you are dating someone who you are too good for.

6) Nothing you do is ever enough.

Tragically, I see this often. A man or woman is so in love with their partner that they stretch themselves beyond their limits in an attempt to please that person, only to have their actions minimized. There is nothing more devastating than loving someone who feels entitled to what you offer. If you are in a relationship with a person who does not recognized how favored they are to have you, you are dating someone you are too good for!

Jazz Keyes is a community activist, poetess and a nationally certified Life Purpose and Career Coach. Keyes supplies clients with the necessary tools and techniques to awaken their divine energy, heal their open wounds and create an aura of love, compassionate and tranquility. In 2013,  Keyes was named “13 People to Watch For” by Rockford Register Star and in honor of Black History Month 2014, Keyes was recently named a“Neighborhood Hero” by ComEd’s Power of One Campaign. Keyes in currently pursuing her Masters in Clinical Psychology and hopes to one day be a best-selling author and motivational speaker. She has devoted a great deal of her time and energy on mastering the art of communication in order to create healthy, dynamic, long-lasting relationships.