The Resurrection of Romance
“Romance is about the possibility of the thing. When people who been together a long time say that the romance is gone, what they’re really saying is they’ve exhausted the possibility.” -Darius Lovehall, Love Jones
I was in Africa patiently awaiting a WhatsApp message to come through with the name of the club and the time to meet up. I met some great people a few nights before and we were attempting to coordinate the evening’s activities. As I attempted to reconnect to the wifi, it dawned on me. Why don’t you just pick up the phone and call? It had been so long since I used my phone for voice dialing that I forget that it was an option.
As we continued to get dressed for the night, I laughed with a friend as she talked about how reliant we have become on technology. She said the elders retold stories of how they used to communicate using the mail service. They would write each other love letters and wait by the mailbox to receive a response. That would never fly in 2017. We have completely revamped the dating process, forsaking romantic traditions. As both an observer and a participant in the dating game, I ponder, have we exhausted the possibility?
Foreign to my generation, I wonder what dating would look like if we decided to resurrect romance?
1) “If I wrote you a love letter, would you write back?”
Technological advancements are both a gift and a curse when communicating in relationships. While we must be thankful for being able to get a message to our lovers through multiple platforms with record speed, the downfall to having the convenience of text messaging and social media is that we completely disregard other methods of correspondence. Today, having a phone conversation is out of the norm. People primarily converse via text messages or emails.
If we continue down this path, our children will never know how exciting it is to sneak on the phone to talk to your crush, only to wake up and realize you talked so long that you both fell asleep on the phone. They will never understand how exhilarating it is to receive a love note as you were passing your boyfriend or girlfriend in the hallway.
If you and your partner have been relying heavily on social media, text messages, and other forms of written communication, change up your style. In the middle of the day, pick up the phone and give him or her a call. Tell that person you just want to hear their voice and see how their day was going. Don’t get off the phone until you have made your man or woman smile or laugh for the day. If you are feeling romantic, write them a love letter this week.
2) Go to the grocery store.
I was talking with a friend of mine about how he has not mastered the inbox or DM approach to dating. He joked that he still prefers to meet women in the grocery store. If you are single, make it your mission to meet someone new everywhere you go. Introduce yourself to the stranger sitting next to you at the restaurant. Spark up a conversation with the beautiful woman in the checkout line.
3) The art of Drive-in movies…
I am not even sure if drive-in movies still exist, but if there is one close to you, go. If not, that doesn’t mean you can’t still get outdoors. Stop “Netflix and chilling” on the living room couch. Most cities have summer activities that will allow you to have a romantic evening with very little planning. Check out the local calendar for events like movies on the lawn, music at the museum, or dinner on the water. Break out of your routine and make it your goal to spend at least two nights a month outside of your home.
4) Don’t forget the “just because” gestures.
If you have ever had someone do something kind for you, “just because” then you know how amazing that feeling is. Romance doesn’t have to be dramatic. It can be simple as filling up your lover’s gas tank or surprising your partner with their favorite food for lunch. The key to romance is effort. Most people simply want to know that they are in your thoughts and you care enough to take time out of your day to do something special for them.
5) “Hand my hand.”
When is the last time, if ever, that you and your partner held hands and went for a walk? Romance is associated with finances too often. Bring back old traditions like taking a stroll in the park with your lover and talk about life.
6) Little Caesars and flowers…
There is a photo going viral right now of a man on the subway holding a $5 hot and ready pizza from Little Caesars and a bouquet of flowers. We have no idea where that man is headed, but the assumption is that he is on his way to his woman with dinner and flowers. Heated debates have erupted about whether it is enough for a man to show up with a cheap pizza and flowers.
True romance is about the consideration. If someone cares enough about you to the point where they are willing to do little things to see you smile, be appreciative. Don’t date someone who can only appreciate your efforts if they are grand in cost. Date someone who will be satisfied by not having to cook dinner that night. Think pizza and flowers. Do something today to make it easier for your partner this week.
7) Flip a coin.
Romance is two-sided. Old-school dating was about impressing one another. As much as we want to make romance the man’s responsibility, it’s not. No different than women, men need to feel adored, celebrated and comforted as much as we do. Do something sweet to blow your man’s mind this week.
8) Teach me what you know.
There is nothing more romantic than the exchange of knowledge. Let’s get back to the days of teaching one another new skills. Today, show your partner something new. Teach them how to play chess, how to change a tire, or give them a book to read/podcast to listen to.
Times have changed. Sadly, when we are with other people, we are so engrossed in our phones to the point where we lose the opportunity to truly connect with one another. This week participate in the resurrection of romance. Disregard the new age dating antics and get back to the basics.
Jazz Keyes is a community activist, poetess and a nationally certified Life Purpose and Career Coach. She has devoted a great deal of her time and energy on mastering the art of communication in order to create healthy, dynamic, long-lasting relationships. Follow her on Instagram and Twitter @jazzkeyes.