Real Love Explained in ‘Beyoncé’
Beyoncé is so bae. A true admirer, I have been blaring her lyrics through my sound systems from the moment she sang “Bugaboo” all the way up until she let us know that she enjoys the occasional “sippage” of that watermelon. So, you have to imagine how shocked I was when the once self declaring, independent woman, proudly bellowed like trumpets that, “the more successful I become, the more I need a man.”
She completely knocked the breath out of my feminist filled lungs with that one. Emotionally unequipped to process this idea, I wondered what Mr. Carter was doing to our, “Girl, you don’t need a man” icon. He clearly was brainwashing her with fake hopes of happily ever after, and she was falling victim to his false promises.
Yes, “Sasha Fierce” unapologetically let the world know that it was her marriage, and the presence of her equally successful music mogul husband, that strengthened her already immaculate brand. When a woman as paramount and influential as Bey makes an affirmation that mighty, it calls you to investigate what triggered her new-found admiration for all things love.
I had a, “fxck love phase,” but in the past few years as I slowly planned to retire from the, “Independent Woman” membership club, I began to not only understand Bey change, but relate to it.
With a new-found outlook on love and relationships, I have to ask myself, has Bey been trying to school us on what it’s like when you find the real deal for years?
What does Beyoncé’s lyrics teach us about true love?
“I took some time to live my life, but don’t think I’m just his little wife.”– Bow Down
While Bey takes pride in being Jay-Z’s counterpart, she has managed to keep a tight hold onto her own identity. This is a weighty lesson that some of us still need to take notes on.
When you find the one, he/she will not attempt to confine you to the role of merely being their helpmate. You know you’ve found the one for you when that person finds delight and glorification in your accomplishments, and even the things that do not directly serve him/her.
“I’m a host of imperfection, and you see past all that.”– Flaws and All
When you have found the one, suddenly your perceived shortcomings and pitfalls mean nothing.
The warm spirit of your significant other should be your safe haven. If you cannot be weak in the presence of your life partner, it’s time to do some quick evaluating. While the world will require you to always personify perfection, in the arms of your lover, you should feel liberated.
“Baby, I love you. You are my life. My happiest moments weren’t complete if you weren’t by my side.” –Dangerously in Love
There is no greater feeling than sharing your moments of victory with someone who you know wants nothing more than to see you power through life. When you find your heart’s counterpart you can’t even fully revel in the rewards of your joyful moments until you let that person know, because it’s just not as gratifying until you have them to celebrate with.
“If you keeping your promise, I’m keeping my word.” – Jealous
The exchange for kept promises is kept promises. Love is about finding a person who you never have to question their word. You know that everything that person speaks into your life, and everything that person speaks over your life will come true because they would not say anything to you that they did not mean.
“My heart beats so damn quick when you say my name.”-Blue
Ever had someone call your name and it sends immediate chills up and down your spine? When you find love…that deep soul connection with someone, the mere thought of that person speeds up your heart rate. To know that someone can simply look in your direction and cause you to feel like your legs may give out beneath can be distressing in the best way. You should be in harmony with one another so much to the point when he/she speaks your name, you quiver with excitement.
“Hell yeah you the shit. That’s why you’re my equivalent.”– Rocket
The transition from “independent woman” to “wife” or from “bachelor” to “husband” I imagine, is fairly simple when you find someone who you know has the ability to help you transcend to new levels. If you can’t look at your partner and know with certainty that you are not settling, chances are, you’re settling. Boss up together!
“Remember those walls I built?/Well, baby they’re tumbling down/And they didn’t even put up a fight” -Halo
We build barricades around our hearts in an effort to keep out the enemy. When your life partner comes to the door of your fortress, you open up and welcome them in. Slowly, all of the fears that once lodged comfortably in your heart are forced to vacant the premises.
“In the darkest night hour/I’ll search through the crowd/Your face is all that I see”-XO
Be attentive to how he or she behaves when all of the light that was once shining in your life dissipates. In those moments when you are scared, alone, discouraged, and the world looks dark, where is that person? If the answer isn’t right by your side, you haven’t experienced real love yet.
“You’re my father/you’re my soldier/you protect me/boy you save me/you’re my best friend/you’re my husband/you are my doctor/counselor/provider/professor/my everything” – Still in Love
How can a woman not give in to a man who cares so affectionately for his woman that he steps into the leadership role in every aspect of her life? Real love is agape, and like a parent’s love with their child, there are no conditions. You stand on the battlefield with your spouse, warring against anything that threatens their joy and sanity. You become your partner’s superhero, their sounding board, their nurse when they are ill, the holder of their secrets, the giver of life lesson, and most importantly, their best friend.
There has clearly been a change in Beyoncé and we can’t be mad at her metamorphosis. Sometimes we don’t know we need something until we experience it, and we usually question how we ever lived without it. I’d imagine that she never wants to know life without her Jay, and when you find “the one” neither will you! All hail Queen Bey! I’m here for her. I am here for them!
I pray you seek and find everything you need and then some. Move in love…Until we meet again lovers and friends. Be well. Be prosperous. Be passionate.
Jazz Keyes is a community activist, poetess and a nationally certified Life Purpose and Career Coach. Keyes supplies clients with the necessary tools and techniques to awaken their divine energy, heal their open wounds and create an aura of love, compassionate and tranquility. In 2013, Keyes was named “13 People to Watch For” by Rockford Register Star and in honor of Black History Month 2014, Keyes was recently named a“Neighborhood Hero” by ComEd’s Power of One Campaign. Keyes in currently pursuing her Masters in Clinical Psychology and hopes to one day be a best-selling author and motivational speaker. She has devoted a great deal of her time and energy on mastering the art of communication in order to create healthy, dynamic, long-lasting relationships.