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JET Love

4 Reasons Why You Should Let Love Find You

Years ago, I fell in love with the idea of serendipitous love. A hopeless romantic at heart, I was married to the notion that finding your soulmate would be as simple as bumping into you heart’s counterpart on some random day in the bookstore.

In my fantasy, we both were roaming aimlessly in a city saturated with culture, music and knowledge. It was a crisp Fall afternoon and we both decided to leave out of our quaint brownstone apartments for a stroll through parts of the city that only art and history lovers frequent. We would both, at the same time, randomly decide to tuck ourselves away in a used bookstore for the afternoon.

While carefully navigating the space with a cup of Chai tea in hand, we would accidentally back into one another, nearly tipping the foam from our drinks over the edges of our cups. We’d look up, we’d pause, we’d lose our breath, we’d pause, we’d smile and in that moment, we’d fall in love.

Clearly meshed between my fantasy world and reality, the likelihood that I will retell my love story to my grandchildren with such a childlike tone is well…unlikely.

Sadly, we dwell in a society where most people expect love to have order and definition. The idea that love can just be something you happen to stumble upon accidentally completely takes away the control we so often need to have when it comes to finding the right partner.

What if we are so consumed with finding the right man or woman to the point that we completely overlook what is most important; the idea that love would be so much simpler if instead, we focused on creating a space that was warm and welcoming; a place where love yearned to dwell.

Instead of forcing love, here are some reasons we should just allow love to find us.

1) You live a life of distraction.

Many of us are on a never-ending search for that special someone to share our lives with. This can cause one to live a life that is disconnected from the things that are equally important. Love should always serve as an addition to your life, not your primary source of happiness. If your entire focus is on love and finding a life partner, you may very well be acting as your own biggest distraction. Instead of being on the prowl for your soulmate, be more intentional about enhancing your life and pursuing your personal and professional goals. By making the decision to let love enter your life only when you are ready and open to receiving it, you remove the pressure and urgency to find love and redirect that passion to advancing yourself.

2) You mistake everyone for “the one.”

Seeking love on your terms can make you susceptible to one-sided love affairs. When you are desperate for love, it’s easy to evaluate and find the good in anyone who enters your life. You may find yourself so anxious for the affection of a man or woman that you become willing to overlook even the most obvious flaws. Everyone you cross paths with is not a potential life partner, and when you stop searching for love, you naturally become more selective. When you refuse to rush into love you are able to allot yourself the necessary time to evaluate the people who come into your life and make quality decisions about whether or not they truly deserve to be there.

3) Teach people to yield to your energy.

One of the most powerful things you will ever learn is how to get people to yield and pay attention to the energy you put out. If the person you are interested in can sense the desperation in you, the less likely they are to invest time into getting to know you.Why? No one wants to be responsible for dealing with the emotional baggage of a person who is over eager for love. Desperation often presents itself as insecure and emotionally unstable. People want to be around people who are confident and sure of themselves. Spend some time learning how to put the right vibrations into the universe and let that gain the attention of your soulmate. Ultimately, every person should be striving to radiate such an aura that people are naturally inclined to want to be in their company. This same energy will draw in your soulmate and you will not have to do any heavy lifting.

4) Give your partner time to mature.

If the idea that there is truly someone for each of us is true, then perhaps your soulmate is still being molded by life and there are still experiences they have yet to go through. It’s possible that your future forever hasn’t acquired some of the qualities you will need in a mate and vice versa. Trying to expedite the process may keep you from gaining the necessary insight and wisdom to be a sufficient partner for your lover. By letting the process naturally evolve, you are giving both of you the necessary space and time to grow into the man or woman you will ultimately need to be.

A serendipitous love may seem like a notion too extreme to grasp, but maybe it’s the fraction of innocence regarding love that keeps us hopeful that we will one day find it. No, you may not bump into your love like a romance movie, but rushing is not the answer.

Finding true love should not be a project or be placed on a demanding time frame. It should be a serendipitous process, where you and your lover are united by fate. Trying to control and manipulate the process could very well be the reason you find yourself in tune with the wrong souls.

In sum, just let love happen!

Jazz Keyes is a community activist, poetess and a nationally certified Life Purpose and Career Coach. She has devoted a great deal of her time and energy on mastering the art of communication in order to create healthy, dynamic, long-lasting relationships. Follow her on Instagram and Twitter @jazzkeyes.