Love in 21 Days
Waiting on true love can easily be one of thee most emotionally frustrating experiences in one’s life. Surrounded by what seems like the constant reminder that everyone else is blissfully engulfed in mystical romance while you are wrapped snuggled in an over-sized blanket, stocked up on snacks, and cuing Netflix to play your favorite series non-stop, can easily cause you to question why it is that you, in all of your exquisiteness, have been unsuccessful in magnetizing your soul mate? If you are receptive to unfamiliar experiences, the advice provided in this piece is for you!
The title of this article is not to be misleading. Yes, this is a 21-day challenge, fashioned to assist you in attracting the type of love that is inherently appreciated. No, this does mean that some serendipitous encounter will occur precisely 30 days after you begin this challenge. However, if you demonstrate commitment, the process should bring undeniable evolution regarding your understanding of self and your ability to attract the things your heart so desperately desires, specifically love.
This 21-day love challenge is about awakening your divine energy, connecting to your source, and opening your heart and mind to receiving what true love has to offer.
Day 1: “Self-Examination is a humbling process. It is essential to find out why you think, say, and do certain things…then better yourself.”– S. Teclai
With people so accustomed to holding other people accountable for vitality, self-reflection is a dying art. In preparation for your soulmate you must first work on self. The first day of this challenge is about you. Spend the day giving consideration to who you are and what type of partner you want to be.
Example: In order for me to be a good partner, I knew that I first had to master my emotions and learn how to be silent in moments of anger.
Day 2: Take inventory of your exes.
Today, ask yourself the hard questions. What types of men and women are you prone to dating and why? Why did your past relationships fail? What did you learn? What are you going to do differently moving forward?
Day 3: Don’t bend.
It’s crucial to know what your non-negotiables are. What are you unwilling to compromise on? Unwilling: drug use, abuse, lack of ambition, religion. Willing: children, income, education level.
Day 4: Dear future husband/wife…
It’s OK to romanticize love. You should feel elated about the idea that one day soon, you will align with a person who was designed specifically to love you. Take today to write a personal letter to your future. Keep this letter close, so that when you meet your soulmate you can give it to them.
Day 5: Move about with gratitude in your heart.
Loneliness can be an emotionally and mentally depleting emotion, even more so if you are connected to social media in any fashion. These platforms play love stories 24/7 with no commercial breaks. Watching others be in love can cause one to binge on feelings of self-loathing. Cheer up! Today, check your attitude. Be grateful for where you are and what’s to come. Stay focused on your own process. Remember, you are grooming yourself for your soulmate.
Day 6: Create a vision.
Who is he/she? Instead of saying, I want someone who is ___________ say, I want someone who makes me feel __________.
Day 7: Date night…
Before you can lend yourself to a relationship, you first have to give to yourself. Take yourself on a nice date today. Eat at your favorite restaurant, plan a spa day, or catch a matinee.
Day 8: Align with your higher power.
Approach communication with your higher power from two angles. First, ask for your soul mate to enter your life when the time is right—not a minute sooner. Second, pray that you are healed, warm, and welcoming when he or she arrives.
Day 9: Declutter.
The last thing you want is to miss out on love because you’re a mess. Today, reserve some time to start decluttering your life. Clean you home so that air and light can flow freely. Clean up your personal affairs. Clear out debt. Work on your credit. Get prepared! If there are any stranglers still hanging around, cut them loose. Make room in your heart and mind for love. Think positive so that you can attract a positive person.
Day 10: Tame your demons.
You are approximately a third of the way through this process. Here is where the heavy lifting begins. In order to be hospitable to love, you have to tame the attributes about yourself that are less than inviting. Start working on improving your character flaws now (quick tempered, stubborn, nagging, insecurities), so that you can shine later.
Day 11: Connectedness.
It is going to be extremely difficult to get into the swing of dating if you are unwilling to be social. Put yourself out there. Today, introduce yourself to one new person, preferably one of the opposite sex (or same sex if you’re a member of the LGBT community). It doesn’t have to be anyone that you are attracted to physically. This challenge is about opening yourself up to connecting with other energies.
Day 12: Law of attraction.
In short, the law of attraction suggests that we are responsible for what we attract, positive or negative. If you want to attract love, you first have to be it. Today, be a well of love. Be kind and affectionate to yourself. Do one unexpected gentle gesture for someone else. Make this a daily practice.
Day 13: Make amends.
Forgive yourself and those who have hurt you. Nothing corrodes the potential of a relationship like the acidity of past pains. If you allow your old relationships, childhood pain, or broken pieces to go unhealed, they will cause complications on your voyage to love. Today, list the things you have not yet made amends with and devise a plan to bandage your open wounds.
Day 14: Read!
Get your hands on books, magazines, articles, newsletters, and religious texts consisting of topics about love, relationships, sex, dating, marriage, etc. and read them. You don’t have to apply everything you digest, but information is golden.
Day 15: Self-preservation.
Devote 30 minutes a day to self-care. That can mean taking a long shower, or eating a healthy meal. Spend more time today getting dressed or putting on your makeup. Buy some new cologne. You know how the saying goes, “When you look good, you feel good.”
Day 16: Love yourself, unapologetically.
I read this quote on social media and it sums today’s task perfectly; “Perhaps, we should love ourselves so fiercely, that when others see us they know exactly how it should be done.” – Rudy Francisco
Day 17: Pray, meditate, journal, repeat.
Develop a routine that will keep you centered and emotionally vibrant. Be prayerful. Learn to breathe through the tough times. Keep a record of your progress. Repeat daily.
Day 18: Tell yourself no lies.
Be honest with yourself at all times. If you want love, admit it. If you are scared of having your heart broken, admit it. If you know you have some work to do on yourself before you can truly love another person wholeheartedly, admit it. This is a process that requires you to be truthful with yourself at all times. Be forthcoming, even when it stings.
Day 19: Be open-minded.
Do not close yourself off to love because you are unwilling to do things differently. You may have to completely revise the way you approach love and relationships, and that’s OK. Don’t allow rigidness and a lack of flexibility to keep you from experiencing true love. Open yourself up more. Love without limitations and unrelenting restrictions.
Day 20: Ask and you Shall receive.
Love is not about having someone to complete or validate you. It’s about inviting someone to share life with you. Before you reach out for companionship, make sure you are content with your own company first. Learning to love yourself first is the most vital element of this entire process. Once you are happy with yourself, make the request. Ask the Creator and the universe to make sure your partner is first, prepared and if so, send him or her your way!
Day 21: Be patient!
Be not anxious, relax and let love come!
Jazz Keyes is a community activist, poetess and a nationally certified Life Purpose and Career Coach. Keyes supplies clients with the necessary tools and techniques to awaken their divine energy, heal their open wounds and create an aura of love, compassionate and tranquility. In 2013, Keyes was named “13 People to Watch For” by Rockford Register Star and in honor of Black History Month 2014, Keyes was recently named a“Neighborhood Hero” by ComEd’s Power of One Campaign. Keyes in currently pursuing her Masters in Clinical Psychology and hopes to one day be a best-selling author and motivational speaker. She has devoted a great deal of her time and energy on mastering the art of communication in order to create healthy, dynamic, long-lasting relationships.