Bye Bye Bitter: 6 Signs You May Need Help
Bitterness rots the heart. When released, it wears away at the esteem of everyone close to you. The source of bitterness may be a collection of unfortunate events, or the result of one damaging situation.
Being bitter after a break up is one of the most obvious displays of resentment. Tragically, until it is brought to his or her attention, most bitter individuals do not even realize how defenseless they are against their emotions.
Here are some tell-tale signs that you have started to erode from the inside out.
1) You sing like a canary.
Bitterness has no honor, nor does it hold any secrets. If you question whether or not you’re consumed with spite, be attentive to the language you use when discussing past relationships or past partners. If you are constantly seeking out opportunities to bash your ex, expose intimate details about that person, or discredit their character, chances are that you need to redirect your energy.
Solution: Thou shalt not drag. There is no healing in causing harm to your exes. In fact, it is equivalent to jumping into salt water with an exposed cut. Every time you find yourself tempted to speak or behave in a way that you believe will bring harm to your ex, get a grip on yourself. Don’t make the mistake of looking like the crazy and deranged person who can’t get over your relationship while your ex has gracefully moved on.
2) You are a proud member of the He-Man Woman Haters Club.
We attract like energy. Look around. Have you unknowingly joined a group of man or woman haters? Bitter individuals speak a common language, and that is the language of distaste. If you are constantly finding yourself in the company of men or women who have a solid disgust for all things love, know that you were invited because your attitude meets the membership requirements.
Solution: Thou shall not be birds of a feather. If you know you are miserable, the last thing you want to do is open your front door and welcome more miserable people into your home. It is an infectious emotion. Enjoy your solitude or share your time with individuals who have the ability to help you view your breakup from a more positive perspective, not someone who convinces you that hating love is the answer to all of life’s problems.
3) You possess the “All men are dogs” complex.
Do you generalize all men or women? Making vast proclamations such as, “Men ain’t sh*t,” “Women are gold diggers” and the like shows an inability to separate your personal experiences and choices from the gender as a whole.
Solution: Thou shalt tell the truth. Admit it. You have had a history of choosing the wrong men or women. This does not mean that men as a whole are liars, cheaters, or abusers; you simply have a habit of selecting the bottom of a barrel. All women aren’t gold diggers, you are just drawn to superficial and materialistic women because you are unable to see past the exterior. Tell the truth about the role you play by professing the truth, whatever it may be.
4) And the Oscar goes to…
The only thing worse than publicly blasting your ex is putting yourself on stage in a desperate attempt to seek your five minutes of fame. Giving passive aggressiveness permission to take the wheel, bitter individuals are infamous for the, “Look at me, I’m so happy” performances and social media post. Everything you do is to show your ex how exceptional you are without him or her, but there’s one flaw in your plan: no one believes you.
Solution: Thou shalt not make a fool of thyself. Check yourself before you wreck yourself! Have several seats, and say or do whatever is necessary so that you do not humiliate yourself. There is an amicable exit when a relationship is over that does not involve putting on a show or drawing unnecessary attention to yourself and exposes your hurt. Proceed stage left.
5) You have no love in your heart.
Not only do you despise your own love life, but you hate everyone else’s. You can’t stand to see couples holding hands and walking through the store. You can hardly watch romantic movies, and you definitely have no desire to look at the sappy love social media posts and pictures from the “perfect” couples on social media. If it oozes happiness, you want nothing to do with it.
Solution: Thou shalt not hate, thou shalt appreciate. #RelationshipGoals is a bitter person’s nightmare. Idolizing what you see on social media is damaging to any person’s psyche. While I do not suggest attempting to model your love life after others, learn to look at other people’s happiness as proof that it exists, and one day this a wonderful love will belong to you.
6) “New bae” is better than your ex.
Not only did you move on, but the Honeymoon period of this new thing provides you with more delight than you have had in a long time. “New bae” is everything “old bae” was not and 1,000 times sexier and you desperately want your ex to know that.
Solution: Thou shalt not give you the satisfaction. Bitterness doesn’t have to be loud. In fact, it’s often very discreet and creeping. Make sure that when you move on and find new love, your ex is the furthest thing from your mind. Trust, they will notice because they always do. But if you are still focused on making sure your past sees what you are doing in the present, you may be dragging some old mess into your new relationship so be careful.