Love Advice: Intent Vs. Perception
When you are dating someone, you naturally want to be the one to make them smile and bring joy to their life. When attempting to bring joy to your mate’s life, you must make sure that your partner understands your intent. You can’t forget it either.
Spending time with your mate isn’t enough if you’re always doing things that you enjoy. The activities that you like may not necessarily be what your partner enjoys. You do not want to force your affinities on them during moments when you are supposed to be catering to their desires. It is important to be in tune with your special someone when it comes to this particular aspect of the relationship.
For instance, you may love just sitting and watching a movie while in each other’s arms on the couch, but your partner may only partake in this activity because that is what you enjoy. He or she may not mind, but may actually enjoy a more interactive activity such as cooking and drinking wine in the kitchen while discussing each other’s day. Similarly, you may like Ginger Ale and your partner likes Sprite. Neither selection is better than the other, it is simply a preference.
When you plan activities or give gifts to make your partner feel special, you want to make every attempt be followed up with the appropriate understanding of why you did what you did. That is how you receive the satisfaction of making your mate feel special, and you feeling appreciated.
You may have heard of the term “perception is reality.” Work to ensure that your mate’s perception is accurate with the reality of your intent. Incorrect interpretation will create major barriers, and foster a breeding ground for pain, anger and resentment.
Always keep in mind that “just because” indulgences can be big or small — it is about the effort you put forth to represent your care for them. Healthy gestures of affection allow relationships to stabilize and refresh because the partner on the receiving end is relieved that they are with someone who enjoys making them happy. Everyone likes that feeling.
Remember: Think outside of your own desires. Intent is appreciated through accurate perception.
Justin L. Mabrie, MBA, is a graduate of Hampton University and native Houstonian. He provides relationship advice based on a traditional yet fresh perspective. Currently living in Qatar, varied aspects of dating are explored through his writings. You may keep up with him through Instagram @jlmabrie.