3 Signs You’re Over Your Long-Distance Relationship
According to my unofficial relationship poll, 92.67% of long distance relationships are entered into without a definitive end date, meaning folks are actively committing to someone despite the massive geographical distances that separate them, without ever clarifying when that distance will eventually come to an end.
When you’re young and still in the process of figuring life out, this isn’t that problematic because your schedule still has a certain amount of fluidity that allows you to entertain situations—personally and professionally—that aren’t clearly defined.
But as we all grow older, getting into and remaining in long distance relationships can start to become more challenging as you approach the “aged-out” point. This is the point when your short and long-term personal goals cannot support an extended bout of long distance loving because to be blunt, your ass ain’t getting no younger. As we all collectively mature and begin to embark on measures of “adulting,” chasing love just becomes less reasonable. The “aged out” point is the definitive moment when your life circumstance makes long distance dating completely untenable.
Here are three signs that you’ve reached that point.
1) You want to start a family.
It is completely impractical—and damn near impossible—to start a family in a long distance relationship. How do you entertain having children when you don’t even have an idea of where they’ll live? Do you want your kids to live in separate homes? Are you completely cool with raising your kids in two single-parent homes, despite the fact that you are actually in a relationship together? The truth is that most people aren’t, which means the distance issue needs to be resolved before you delve into having children. Although there are many families dealing with circumstances where the family is separated, it is critical to be together at some point, and that point is typically the start. That can’t happen when you’re busy building lives in different locations.
2) Constant travel expenses don’t work with your financial planning and prioritizing goals.
Long distance relationships are expensive and if you’re serious about your finances, there comes a point where budgeting and prioritizing becomes of the utmost importance. Unless you’re balling, it’s gonna be hard to achieve many of your financial goals while having to buy plane tickets all the damn time. Depending on your distance, it can truly hamper your own budget.
3) You’re no longer excited about having to travel to get your basic intimacy needs met.
At the core of any relationship is intimacy, which in many ways is far more potent and necessary than sex. Getting it in can involve intimacy, but intimacy doesn’t require any sex at all. Intimacy is the physical expression of love, caring, appreciation and basic affection. It’s running your hands through your significant other’s hair, or a prolonged hug after a long tough day. We all need intimacy in our relationships, and having to travel for it can be incredibly brutal after a certain point in your life.
Aging out of long distance relationships is not a good thing or a bad thing; it’s just a simple state of reality. But it’s important that you know how close you are to that point before you choose to entertain a relationship.
Lincoln Anthony Blades blogs daily on his site, ThisIsYourConscious.com. He’s author of the book, “You’re Not A Victim, You’re A Volunteer.” He can be reached on Twitter @lincolnablades and on Facebook at Lincoln Anthony Blades.