It’s a Spiritual Thing: Choosing the Right Partner
“A man chooses a great woman as a part of a spiritual journey to bump to a higher level. A great woman is the inspiration. If a man chooses a ‘lesser’ woman for lower chakra reasons (i.e. casual sex), he does not want to do the work required to shift his consciousness into being a great man. You can always see the character of the man by the woman he chooses. We live in a throw away society. Most don’t want to work hard to grow when the grass is greener.” -J. Dean
Last week, under the care of Iyanla Vanzant, I attended a women’s empowerment retreat. Without question, it was one of the most liberating and eye-opening experiences in my life, and it caused me to question how marvelous our lives would be if we understood the function of our energy and how our intimate relationships either elevate us in life or impede our spiritual advancement.
Is your partner contributing to your spiritual journey? Ask yourself these questions to find out.
Are you valued?
Value is demonstrated in the manner in which we care for and protect what we claim to adore. We will give appropriate time and attention to anything we deeply appreciate.
One way to know if your partner is contributing to your journey is to figure out whether he or she truly values you. When your partner respects your evolution, not only will they support your journey, but they will also stay clear of actions that will cause you to question your place in their heart.
Nothing distracts you from moving in the right direction more than having to stop and tend to a partner who is more concerned with where they will be in your life when you mature than seeing you reach your fullest potential. When you are valued, all doubt is eliminated and competition is nonexistent.
Are you honored?
There is nothing worse than dating someone who does not honor your thoughts, feelings, opinions, or beliefs. A person who does not respect you at the most basic level will never support your attempts to level up in life. Refuse to suffer the repercussions of loving someone who thinks you are small. They will constantly pressure you to stay confined to a space where they can control you.
If you find yourself trying to shrink or minimize your expansion in an attempt to protect the feelings of your partner, you are only harming yourself. This will eventually build resentment. Instead of constantly expecting rejection, you should enthusiastically turn to your spouse for spiritual, mental, and emotional reinforcement. The most successful relationships are rooted in friendship. Friendship honors the qualities that each person offers and as long as it is not detrimental, respect what is absent.
Are you secure?
When my first real wave of life changes occurred, I was in a relationship. The changes were so drastic that it caused my partner at the time to become very angry. He didn’t sign up to date the woman I was becoming. His resistance to accept the new me caused me to question who I was becoming. He was insecure, which in turn made me insecure.
Often, one-sided relationships leave us feeling inadequate and threatened. In a devoted relationship your emotions and stability should be protected. You should never be puzzled about whether or not your journey will cause you to lose your relationship or if the strain it will put on your relationship will interrupt your process.
You should not be the same man/woman you were years ago and any person who wants to keep you small and confined is like weeds in a garden; eventually your flower will die if those weeds are not pulled.
Are you traveling in the same direction?
Listen, everyone can’t go with you. This doesn’t mean that said people aren’t good people or that you are in some way, “better” than them; it simply means that you cannot get what’s for you holding on to them.
One of the most influential components of your spiritual advancement is your intimate relationship. Standing at a crossroad, faced with the decision to go left or right, will you and your partner both turn down the same path, or will you be divided and pulled in the wrong direction?
It is expected that you both have individual goals, but if you aren’t confident that there is alignment regarding the final destination, you will take each other off course. Make sure you aren’t traveling down two different roads with two separate destinations in mind.
The more you know about yourself and where you aspire to go in life, the easier it is to determine who belongs on this journey with you. When a person is attempting to rise to a higher level, they will selectively choose a significant other capable of assisting them in this process. If a person is not ready to work toward achieving their full potential, they will simply pass time with casual sex and meaningless encounters. If this is where you are in life, live on! All you owe anyone you encounter is truthfulness.
However, if it’s love you seek, make sure it’s powerful and capable of assisting you in transcending. The right mate can be essential to your spiritual journey. He or she can very well be the missing component in connecting you with your higher self.
Jazz Keyes is a community activist, poetess and a nationally certified Life Purpose and Career Coach. Keyes supplies clients with the necessary tools and techniques to awaken their divine energy, heal their open wounds and create an aura of love, compassionate and tranquility. In 2013, Keyes was named “13 People to Watch For” by Rockford Register Star and in honor of Black History Month 2014, Keyes was recently named a“Neighborhood Hero” by ComEd’s Power of One Campaign. Keyes in currently pursuing her Masters in Clinical Psychology and hopes to one day be a best-selling author and motivational speaker. She has devoted a great deal of her time and energy on mastering the art of communication in order to create healthy, dynamic, long-lasting relationships.