Grown Zone

Three Tips for Recognizing “Good Love”

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At some point, depending on our preferences, we all dream of hotties–steamy hunks, knock out models, or Hollywood stars–as mates. But at some point we have to realize that judging books by their covers, instead of their content, is not Grown.  And if you haven’t reached that sensible point yet, how is that working out for you?

Good love comes in all kinds of packaging. We all know it isn’t a bad thing to be attracted to what is attractive, but how many times have you started a really interesting looking book only to never finish it because it just didn’t feed your soul–or was just plain bad?

How many times have you avoided a restaurant because the menu looked good, but you couldn’t stomach the food?

How many pairs of cute shoes are sitting unworn in your closet because you can’t stand the pain of wearing them any longer?

I think by now you get the point.  Making life-long decisions based on pretty packaging rarely gives you more than temporary satisfaction.  So instead, let’s look beyond appearance and good looks to discover the characteristics that indicate healthy, sustainable, Good Love. Ask yourself:

Are they tender with you?  Times will come when you will need reassurance, help, or an ear or shoulder to cry on in all matters – finance, children, elder care, your health, your home, friendships, etc.  Is this person someone who honors you – returns your calls, will leave their bed at night to comfort you, or has even tried to help you with things you may struggle with – to balance your checkbook and create a budget, or to help work out and create a healthier lifestyle?  Good love is there for you when you need them, not just when it is convenient or pleasurable for them.

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