Respect The Power of Feminine Sexuality
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There’s power in feminine sexuality. In fact, female sexual chemistry’s power to inspire reckless, mindless choices is among the most misused there is, triggering numerous societal issues from infidelity and crimes of passion to questions of paternity and Baby-Momma drama. Not to mention the resulting tumultuous psychological effects and emotional damage that ripple through families and communities for generations. That’s why access to your body should be among the last things—not the first—you share in your preparation for and pursuit of healthy relationships.
The subject of women setting and enforcing clear, self-loving standards for who gains access to the power of their sexuality is regularly addressed on our Grown Zone Facebook page on Fridays, followed by #SelfLoveSaturday tweets on our Grown Zone Twitter feed the next day. We do this because it’s usually during the weekends when perfectly intelligent women trade their brains for a box of rocks and get laid–only they’ve convinced themselves that it’s on their terms, that they are in charge, so it’s okay.
Friday is why folks live for the weekend, because they just got paid and they’re ready to let loose and have some fun. The weekend is also traditionally when penis-led males go out in search of somebody’s daughter to exploit and objectify. Add alcohol, drugs, peer pressure and the misguided, even obsessive need to be “Grown and Sexy,” and foolery ensues.
It is widely accepted and even celebrated as inevitable, and it’s happening all around us, but sexual recklessness is never without consequence, and rarely does it only affect the people screwing. So, yes, you should enjoy your weekends, but in the words of Sam Green Sr. (aka Zara’s Daddy), “A man will tell you anything if he thinks you’ll let him hit it, and any hole will do as long as it’s wet and warm.”
Now, men are as responsible for making healthy, responsible sexual choices as women are. But woman, you determine whether or not he hits it, and the ripple effects of unhealthy choices (unplanned-for babies, diseases, financial obligations, altered life options, emotional damage) fall more immediately and primarily on you. Too often, while you are confronted with the consequences, he’s then off to get somebody else’s daughter to fall for his okey-doke.
This unfortunate reality, repeated over and over again in communities across the country (and dramatically showcased on talk shows and reality TV such as Paternity Court), is one of the primary reasons we were inspired to start our Grown Zone campaign. We are committed to helping you to differentiate between what we may have the adult right to do (in this case, have consensual sex anytime we want with anyone we choose, without conditions or standards) and what’s in our best, highest self-interest to do—Grown decisions. Remember, it’s not about right or wrong. It’s about healthy and unhealthy. If it’s not healthy, it’s not Grown. And if it’s not Grown, there’s nothing sexy about it.
Of course, the powerful attraction of feminine sexuality need not be negative. In fact, we believe it has amazing positive potential in the context of mutually respectful, loving relationships of honor, esteem and respect. When treated as a vessel of a woman’s expression and acceptance of loving treatment (not just as an object to be used and exploited—a sex toy with a person attached to it—or treated as a form of currency), it has tremendous bonding power, reinforcing the rewards of healthy relationships. However, sexual chemistry is like dynamite, invented by Swedish chemist Alfred Nobel, for whom the Nobel Peace Prize is named. Although it was created for its positive potential, it is often used to devastatingly destructive effect. The difference lies in to whom it is entrusted. Grown women require others to earn that trust. Like dynamite, not everyone is qualified to safely handle it.
So enjoy your weekends, but make smart decisions. There are a whole lot more ways to relax and have fun other than mindless screwing. Remember, “It just happened” is just code for “I made an adult choice without an agenda for Grown decision-making.” Grown folks—both men and women—do not abuse the power of feminine sexual attraction. They treat it with H.E.R.—Honor, Esteem and Respect.
On the weekends—and every day—Live in the Grown Zone.
For a FREE copy of, 9 Keys To Living In The Grown Zone, click here.
Zara Green and Alfred Edmond Jr., named to Black Love Forum’s “14 Most Inspiring Black Couples” list for 2014, are co-principals of A2Z Personal Growth Enterprises, producer of The Grown Zone. Zara is a speaker/trainer & author. Alfred is an award-winning journalist and expert on business and personal finance. The couple, both “Do-Better Fanatics”, lead sessions on personal growth, self-love and resiliency, healthy relationships and “grown” decision-making at live events across the country.
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