Grown Zone

Forget The Man Shortage: Grown Men Don’t Cheat

Our Grown Zone bloggers discuss men who cheat and why you shouldn't settle.
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Welcome to the Grown Zone at We look forward to providing tools, advice and a reliable framework to help you to achieve honor, esteem, respect, prosperity, health (mental, physical and emotional), good relationships and self-loving behaviors for your life.

Oh, Zara; all men cheat; every man is a dog.”

“Now, Alfred. Come on, bruh. I love my wife, but I just had to hit that. I’m a man; it’s just the way we are wired.”

Yes, we’ve heard it a gazillion times from men (justifying) and women (validating).

The next time you hear yourself or anyone else say “All men cheat” or “every man is a dog,” We’re hoping you’ll also hear our voices screaming, GROW UP! There are no absolutes when categorizing people, habits and behavior, only choices.

There are many men who take enormous pride in not being a “ho.” These men do not cheat. They are not penis-led. They do not value a piece of PooNannie—any PooNannie—more than emotional security, fidelity, intimacy and a lasting, loving, healthy partnership built on mutual trust and respect. These men are more than adult males—they are Grown men.

A man shortage? If any man will do, maybe. If you’re a Grown woman, who will only accept a Grown man? Absolutely not. You are both equally rare. People who buy into the man shortage mythology do themselves and Grown men a disservice. There are as many “good” men as there are “good” women—Grown women who equate respect for others with respect for self. You improve the odds of finding one by raising—not lowering—your standards and expectations.

There are people who embrace fidelity as a lifestyle, not an option based on certain terms, conditions and circumstances. And just as we know that women cheat, too, there are men committed to fidelity.

For women who believe that all men cheat, you need to understand that you are a magnet. The quality of the men you attracted is never an accident. They are responding to your vibration. If you don’t want a cheater, you’ve got to first be committed to fidelity yourself (yes, this means there is never a justification for being a side chick or mistress), before you can expect to attract a man whose lifestyle and values mirror yours. The worst possible way to repel male hoes and attract men committed to fidelity is to join in the ho game yourself. Being too available—emotionally as well as sexually—is the worst response to a perceived shortage of suitable mates. It’s basic economics: the more easy access to your body (as well as home, money and heart) supplied, the less it will be valued—i.e. honored, esteemed and respected.

If you have been a cheater, or lifestyles of infidelity are the only examples you’ve seen and known, be encouraged. What we choose to be always trumps what we have been or used to be. You can choose fidelity. Warning for the Makeover Artists: You cannot “love,” sex, guilt, bribe or otherwise coerce someone into making that choice. A person not committed to fidelity on general principle will not make a special exception for you.

That said, it is a myth that men are incapable of monogamy—reject it. Truth: Every man is capable of a lifestyle of fidelity if he so chooses. Women: Stop letting men off the hook with the “men will be men” crap. If fidelity is a real, must-have qualification for a relationship with you, stop giving opportunities and “benefits” to the unqualified. Men: Man up and set a higher standard for Grown manhood—not to please others, but as an act of self love. Everyone: Raise the bar and make your next decision better. Love you more.

We invite you to Enter and Live In The Grown Zone.

For a FREE copy of, 9 Keys To Living In The Grown Zone, click here.


About GrownZone

Zara Green and Alfred Edmond Jr. are co-principals of A2Z Personal Growth Enterprises, producer of The Grown Zone. Zara is a speaker/trainer & author. Alfred is an award-winning journalist and expert on business and personal finance. The couple, both “Do-Better Fanatics”, lead sessions on personal growth, self-love and resiliency, healthy relationships and “grown” decision-making at live events across the country.

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