In Response to Chris Brown’s ‘Cheating’ Advice
We live in a world where you are condemned, regardless of whether or not what you’re saying makes sense. People will focus on your inadequacies enough to the point where you cannot escape them. That’s just how it is and honestly, I have no qualms with holding someone, especially a celebrity, accountable.
So…given Chris Brown’s track record with relationships, it’s safe to say that many would agree that he shouldn’t offer any type of perspective on the subject. And I’ve heard this very sentiment from a couple of people in my circle.
When I got tapped to write about the “Drunk Texting” singer’s Instagram post on cheating, I expected to have a plethora of material to take him to task for. But honestly, I feel where he is coming from.
Let me be the first to say that I have no idea what sparked Chris to post the above comments. According to reports, he is having girl troubles with his most recent rumored bae/girlfriend, Cydney Christine, but honestly there is no way to know for sure.
What I do know is that Mr. Brown will be condemned for anything he says regarding love and relationships. When you’ve had a baby on a woman who has stood by your side for years—i.e. Karreuche—you’ll be condemned. When you pretty much hauled off and beat the hell out of another celebrity singer with literally an army—note Rihanna Navy—behind her, you’ll be condemned. When you’ve had multiple accusations of assault and battery hurled your way—reference the Frank Ocean fighting incident—you’ll be condemned. I could go on and on, but the bottom line is that very few people will pay attention to what Chris wrote, versus the fact that it came from “Chris Brown.”
Am I defending this man? Hell no. He should stay away from giving his “perspective” on a very delicate subject that he has had less-than-marginal success in. But can I outright condemn or take him to task? Not really.
Let’s take a look at what the man actually wrote:
“We cheat on our girlfriends but we don’t want them to cheat on us. You know why? Because we know cheating is wrong!”
Stop right there for a minute. From what I can tell, it looks like Chris is attempting to answer the age-old question that always gets asked by millions of women: “Why do men cheat?” He also appears to be admitting that it isn’t right. This isn’t rocket science, but I’ve found no flaw.
Next he writes:
“We cheat for sex, just to f*** but when a woman cheats she cheats for love and affection. She cheats with a guy that can potentially replace you. We cheat the most but women cheat the best. We dish it out but we can’t take it back.”
Once again, it sounds like he’s expressing his views on why men and women cheat. While he is oversimplifying the reasoning, and while gender roles do not authentically convey why people cheat as a whole, he has said nothing offensive at the moment. Let’s continue.
“We act like it’s the end of the world when we get cheated on. Woman are not afraid to love, commit and be loyal but the problem sometimes is with us men (praying hands and “100” emoji).”
Here the star appears to be admitting that men who cheat cannot handle what they dish out. He’s pretty much saying that woman come to a relationship open and honest, but men are guarded and may need evaluation.
Man listen. As much as I like to call people out on their s***, this isn’t the example that folks should be up in arms about. It sounds like Chris Brown is merely reflecting on something related to either his relationship or someone he may or may not know.
Shantell E. Jamison is a digital editor for EBONY.com and JETMAG.com. Her book, “Drive Yourself in the Right Direction” is available on Amazon. Follow her on Facebook, Twitter @Shantell_em and Instagram @Shantell_em.