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JET Love

A Case for Celibacy

I am an attractive Black woman and I have been celibate for about two years now. Why?

I got tired of wasting my pretty on liars and losers…plain and simple. I understand that not everyone is ready for celibacy as a lifestyle, but for me it has been the most empowering experience. I have to admit that for me, it wasn’t as hard of a decision as it might be for others, as I have had some quite traumatic sexual experiences.

Aside from those disasters, I just grew tired of the endless cycle of feeling used or putting up with some guy that I realized was a loser, but still hanging on for the shred of potential he might live up to.

In my twenties, sex was terribly disappointing. I have to admit that most of the guys I encountered during that time were either seriously inexperienced or just plain selfish. Either way it wasn’t worth it. Even during my short marriage, sex for me was a dreadful chore. Having a decent husband who wasn’t auditioning for the role of the world’s biggest cheater might have helped, but I will never know that now. I realize that not every woman is going to “put a lock on it,” but for those who are tired of feeling like a piece of meat, celibacy might be for you.

And if you’re worried that dating and celibacy can’t coexist, they can. Just remember, most guys will be on to the next one before you can get out of the shower, whether you sleep with them or not!

While some will never admit it, there are far too many women who are sleeping with men for reasons other than their own personal enjoyment. It eats away at your soul and I don’t have enough of that to be giving away anymore. Even if these “transactions” are completed successfully, it still leaves a void that I’m not willing to keep trying to fill with another human substitute for masturbation.

Before I get labeled as a bitter Black woman, let me say that I am not a prude and when I did have sex, there were times when I did enjoy it. I just believe that having higher standards weeds out the undesirables. Another plus to being celibate is I get to save money on some beauty routines that I will spare you all the details of right now. If more women would sit down and re-evaluate who and what they are giving their bodies to, then some men might actually have to make some improvements and dare I say…be something worth taking our clothes off for?

I can’t be giving myself away to just anybody. No more walks of shame or wondering if he is going to call after giving away something that I am unable to get back. If there is to be another lover for me, we will have to connect on a spiritual level first. More than likely, he would have to put a ring on it. Realizing my worth is what makes me the Princess that I am. I guess this makes me a real life born-again virgin. And I like it.