Ask ShanTellem: Does She Like Me?
I met a woman briefly at a party a couple of years ago that a mutual friend of ours threw. We didn’t talk much, but she friend requested me on Facebook soon after. Years went by, and one day she hit me up on Messenger out of the blue. She asked about my job and we discovered that we had similar interest. I think I may be interested in her, but I am not sure if she is interested in me. We’ve only chatted on the phone a few times in the last four months and we mostly message each other on Facebook or Gchat. I asked her to hang out in person on more than one occasion, but something always came up. What’s up? Is she feeling me or what?
A Little Bit in Like
Dear A Little Bit in Like,
This is reason number 5,987 why I hate the Internet! It makes it too easy for mixed signals to occur. Someone will chat with you throughout the day to past the time, with absolutely no intention of ever seeing you. There are some folks out there who believe in “text buddies.” They have a roster of people who they communicate with via Facebook messenger, Gchat, text messaging, Twitter DM, Instagram DM, and whatever else, for their own pleasure.
If you haven’t seen this woman in four months, I’d say you’re a text buddy or a backup. You might see her eventually, but it won’t be in the context that you might be hoping for. If the chemistry is so great and you live in the same state, then there’s no excuse why you can’t meet up with someone who you talk to regularly at least once.
Most likely, she’s got something else going on. This could be a significant other, or her healing from/dealing with a situation. It also could be that you just aren’t clicking as much as you might think. It just sounds like bull to me though.
Either way, do not invest anything into this situation. You’ve asked her to hang out in person, so let it be. Take your chats for what they are: chats on social media and the occasional phone call. Direct your attention to someone who’s willing to give you what you want. And frankly, I’m surprised you haven’t gotten bored yet, because I sure would have.
Good luck and I wish you the best.
Shantell E. Jamison is a digital editor for EBONY.com and JETmag.com. She’s also a radio personality, and cultural critic. Her debut book, “Drive Yourself in the Right Direction: Simple Quotes on How to Achieve Your Best Self” is available now at Amazon.com.