Dear Shan Tell’em,
I want to know what you think about my problem. I’m a 26-year-old single (as in unmarried) female who loves her boyfriend. He recently lost his job and has been so depressed about not bringing in money. He’s been on a few interviews, but nothing has panned out. This is causing major problems in our relationship as I’m growing tired of paying for everything. He’s not lazy, but we got bills to pay. How can I motivate him to keep looking for work despite getting turned down left and right?
Fed Up & Cashed Out
Dear Fed Up & Cashed Out,
One of the top reasons why relationships do not work is financial pressures. Hang in there. This is a test of love. Life happens with or without our permission and it isn’t always pretty. As a mate, it is your job to show your man that you support him. It sounds like he’s someone who isn’t too keen on his woman picking up the financial slack. If he lost his job and was not actively looking for work, then you’d have bigger fish to fry. But it doesn’t sound that way. My advice is for you to simply LOVE your man with patience, understanding and support. Remember why you decided to take the relationship to the next level in the first place. Check in with him and let him know that things will turn around, and continue to show him why you chose him out of the billions of people in the world. Now, if the reasons why you got with him are no longer valid, then it’s time to re-evaluate the union. Until then, weather this storm together just like you would any other issue.
Good luck and I wish you the best.
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Shantell E. Jamison is a Chicago-based writer, radio personality, and cultural critic. She’s also JET Magazine’s Digital Content Editor. She’s been featured on WBEZ 91.5FM, “The Monique Caradine Show,” Vocalo 91.1FM, KDKA Newsradio 1020AM, WBGX 1570AM, WYCA 102.3FM, Chicago Now, The Grio, The Black Youth Project, The Gate Newspaper and “Launching Chicago with Lenny McAllister.” Her debut book, “Drive Yourself in the Right Direction: Simple Quotes on How to Achieve Your Best Self” is available now at Amazon.com.