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JET Love

10 Reasons Why You’re Still Single

For some people, being single is a lifestyle that allows them to live without restraints.  The single life is the epitome of freedom.  It allows you to date multiple people, party like a rockstar, and move about without having to be held accountable for your actions.

For others, being single means not having someone to share your dreams and aspirations with.  It’s full of lonely nights, a lack of companionship, and having to get through every obstacle without anyone to stand by your side.

For those who despise the single life, you may constantly wonder why you’re single.  This list is by no means all-inclusive, but here are some common reasons why you may still be single.

1. You pick people apart before giving them a fair chance.

While it’s imperative to have a firm understanding of what you want in a mate and how you desire to be treated, you want to make sure you aren’t setting yourself up for failure by searching and seeking perfection in another human being.  Material requests in a partner will cause you to overlook valuable candidates who have a significant amount of happiness to offer you.  Instead of looking for a man who drives a luxury vehicle, or a woman with a model’s figure, create a list of qualities that you want in a mate that are not based on superficial standards, like honesty, kindness, and being a God-fearing human being.

2. Your geographical location doesn’t give you many options.

Unfortunately, you may be single because you live in a city that doesn’t provide you with access to the type of men/women you’re attracted to.  If your desire is to have a man/woman who is a fast paced, business driven socialite, but you live in an industrial city that shuts down at 10pm, this greatly decreases the likelihood that you will cross paths with your soulmate. You may need to step outside of the limits of your physical environment.

3. You disclose too much too soon.

Do you have a pessimistic personality?  Are you too dependent?  Do you have a “your way or the highway” mentality?  Are you insecure about your body?

You may be single because your behaviors reveal information about you that sends potential mates darting in the opposite direction before you begin dating.  It’s important not to dump all your baggage during the “getting to know you” phase.

4. You come off as being clingy.

Nothing turns men and women off faster than desperation.  Clinginess screams insecure, and if you are just beginning to date someone it could be an instant red flag, or cause for alarm if you start moving too fast.

The fear of abandonment is the driving force behind people who are attached to their partners in an unhealthy manner.  Spend some time working on being confident and full before attempting to enter into a relationship.

5. You have a nasty attitude.

This one can be difficult to process, but you may be single because your attitude is bad.  No one wants to be in the company of a negative, rude, or mean person.  Most people who are seeking out a mate are looking for someone who they can be free with.  If you aren’t fun to be around because you can’t control your mouth or your harsh demeanor, don’t be surprised when you are left spending a lot of time with yourself.

6. Your heart hasn’t healed.

It can be extremely challenging trying to date when you haven’t healed from your last relationship.  Too often when we haven’t dealt with the heartache from our past, we bring those issues into our new relationship.  If you know that you are not over your ex, or you have not healed from the pain of your relationship ending, do not waste your time, or someone else’s, trying to form another new relationship.

7. You have too many rules.

I often see this happen with women.  After a series of disappointing relationships, women begin drafting the “playbook.”  These are the rules and requirements that a man must abide by in order to prove himself worthy of her attention.  The rulebook is often designed so women don’t feel like they are wasting their time on a man who isn’t on the same page as she is.  We get to the point where we want to limit the risk associated with dating.  Instead, we only want to put ourselves and our hearts on the line for people who want love as badly as we do.  The issue with rules is that it sets your potential partner up for failure, because they have no idea that you are judging them based on imaginary rules. So often, they aren’t able to measure up to your standards. You may be running great candidates off because you have way too many rules in place.  Lower your defenses.

8. You attract the wrong people.

You give entirely too much attention to the wrong people.  Never allow loneliness to choose your soulmate, it will always choose based on availability and not quality.  You may be single because you waste too much time entertaining candidates who are less than deserving of your love.  If you hope to attract the right man or woman, you have to remove the wrong ones out of your life.  Never get comfortable settling for whatever comes along.  Clear your life of less than worthy people and patiently wait for that man/woman who was crafted for you.

9. You’ve given up on love.

The frustration of entering into the dating field where the competition is high, the rules are confusing, and the candidates are slim makes it very easy for someone to give up on love.  As hopeless as it may sometimes appear, you have to stay positive.  Find new places to frequent.  Change up your dating strategies.  Explore unconventional approaches to meeting new people and in the midst of all the craziness, continue to improve yourself.

10. You haven’t found the one.

Being single isn’t a terminal illness, nor is it 100% your fault.  The universe gives you precisely what you need when you are ready.  The fact may be that you are not yet ready to receive what’s in store for you at this current time. Should this be the case, bask in the glory of knowing that there is someone out there who is anxiously waiting to meet you as much as you are yearning to meet them.  In the meantime, focus on preparing yourself for your life partner.  Clean up your messiness.  Dump your dead weight.  Work on your attitude.  Heal your heart from any past relationships and work on being whole, so that when you cross paths with your soulmate you are able to mentally, emotionally, and spiritually give to them completely.

I pray you all seek and find everything you need or plus. Move in love. Until we meet again lovers and friends. Be well. Be prosperous. Be passionate.

Jazz Keyes New Image

Jazz Keyes is a community activist, poetess and a nationally certified Life Purpose and Career Coach. Keyes supplies clients with the necessary tools and techniques to awaken their divine energy, heal their open wounds and create an aura of love, compassionate and tranquility. In 2013,  Keyes was named “13 People to Watch For” by Rockford Register Star and in honor of Black History Month 2014, Keyes was recently named a“Neighborhood Hero” by ComEd’s Power of One Campaign. Keyes in currently pursuing her Masters in Clinical Psychology and hopes to one day be a best-selling author and motivational speaker. She has devoted a great deal of her time and energy on mastering the art of communication in order to create healthy, dynamic, long-lasting relationships.