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Recap ‘Love and Hip Hop: New York’

Um…

We’re not quite sure what to make of the return of Love and Hip Hop (New York).  The original show, which has spun off a much juicier and more ratcheous (ratchet, yet righteous) Atlanta version, seems to be trying way too hard to retain interest.  It has shed quite a few cast members over the years and added some new ones.  Speaking of which:

There’s the prominent storyline of ’90s-era rapper Peter Gunz, who is balancing a secret wife with a seemingly loving family at home.  Then, you’ve got former glamour girl and budding mogul Yandy Smith, now suffering mightily as her fiancé and the father of her child, Mandeecees, quite possibly faces a 20-year sentence for alleged drug trafficking.

(Is this an unscripted show or a retread of the 25th Hour?)

But back to the action: It is supposed to stir things up, but we suspect adding K. Michelle from Atlanta to this toxic mix might just be the thing that makes the whole show jump the shark. The jury is still out on what’s to come, but here’s what stood out from the gate.

1.  Petey J?

There is only one Stevie J.  **pauses** Thank Gawd.  We by no means co-sign for his philandering, plotting and mind-game playing ways, but at least he was somewhat original in his lust for Joseline and disrespect for Mimi.  From the camera mugging to his confessions about the three-way between his beautiful long-time girlfriend Tara and his secret wife/artist Amina Buddafly, the whole Peter Gunz spiel just felt forced.  Worse yet, he seems a tad more cruel than Stevie because Gunz’s home life initially came across as sweet, with two gorgeous children and a loving exchange with his adoring proclaimed soulmate Tara.  Then, the next scene features Peter Gunz shamelessly flirting with Buddafly (or should that be Gutter fly?) while  Tara stands there simply trying to support her man.  It’s a truly heartbreaking sight to behold.  Go Uptown with that madness, Peter.  We truly don’t need to see any more pathetic man-sharing on the small screen or in real life.

2.  Mouths of Babes

We died a little inside when mini-Mandeecees, who is all of 7, announced to Yandy that he knew good and damn well that his father was in jail, rather than the Army as he had been told.  This child is absolute adorbs and if anyone else on the show could borrow a tenth of his smarts or maturity, the producers would all be out of jobs.  I feel so sorry for him coping with his dad being locked up while a camera stares into his innocent little face for reaction.

3.  Business Hours

Sorry to go back to Peter Gunz, but are we the only ones who are wondering if there is any way for a manager NOT to fall into bed with his/her artists?  And even if womanizing is part of the music industry, Peter sounded so unprofessional confiding to Rich that he was in love with Madame Buddafly.  If he was hoping to do some business, why bring this second-string simping into the discussion?  Clearly, Rich is in no place to judge (Erica **cough** Mena), but the tackiness of this latest  love triangle is a true turn-off for us.  We laughed when previews of a future episode showed Peter coming clean, then getting muffed, by a righteously upset Tara.  Get him, girl!

4. Incoming!

K. Michelle didn’t factor much into the premiere other than an overdone slow mo walk off a private jet, but based on tabloid tattling, she will bring the drama to the show.  And it might be a good thing because the back-and-forth between Joe Budden and Tahiry is about as boring as watching paint dry interspersed with C-SPAN.  Or, she could just bop Erica Mena in the face with a bouquet of flowers as she did with Mimi once.  That works for us, too.

5.  Madame Buddafly

People often shriek that they are misrepresented on reality shows and bemoan the fact that the camera doesn’t tell the whole story, but clearly you should know that acting like a strumpet will not be left on the cutting room floor.  Amina Buddafly has a nice voice, but that appears to be all that is positive about her.  She is seen as a scheming, babytalking whiner.  Her lowest point is begging Peter Gunz to stay with her instead of picking his own child up from school (who does that?), and she comes off extremely ugly and nasty when she flaunts to Rich that she and Gunz secretly got married.  To prove it, she reveals a huge “Mrs. Pankey” tattoo that makes a tramp stamp look like a royal crest by comparison.  Pure trash.

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