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‘Real Housewives of Atlanta’ Recap

Oh, the reality show drama cycle: “I hate you.” “Let’s be friends.” “I hate you again.” And the Real Housewives of Atlanta is no different. Last week, Kenya got all up in NeNe’s face and even tugged at her ear. (Who even does that?) This week, the ladies are trying to make nice.

Ladies Who Lunch

NeNe and Kenya meet for lunch and NeNe says she doesn’t hold a grudge. Kenya turns on the waterworks and talks about how she needs real friends because she’s getting displaced from her home. Except NeNe ain’t buying it. Kenya still feels betrayed because NeNe invited Walter to the wedding.

But NeNe says it isn’t a big deal and that’s the time when Kenya should’ve been twirling. So then NeNe suggests getting all the ladies together, but Kenya feels like she’s about to be ambushed and sings “I don’t want to cut nobody today.”

All Together Now

The ladies all gather at Kandi’s house and Porsha walks in with a pixie cut wig. Phaedra calls Porsha’s new ‘do “interesting,” which I know by reading her book Secrets of a Southern Belle is code for “I hate it.” She also says Porsha has a little head, and a little head, equals little brain. #Shade.

Phaedra also announces she’ll never be friends with Kenya, who reportedly offered fellatio to  her husband, Apollo. After all, a real Southern Belle would never proposition another girl’s husband.

Kenya wants to clear the air and claims Apollo initiated texts with her, but they were never inappropriate. Phaedra says Kenya shouldn’t be texting anybody’s husband. NeNe agrees. Kenya says she’s nobody’s whore and nobody’s fool. Some of the ladies would beg to differ with that…

Then Porsha goes off because if somebody’s a fake friend once, she’ll be a fake friend again. Umm…I don’t really think anyone was talking to you, but okay. In the RHOA reunion, Kenya had suggested Phaedra gets an AIDS test after sleeping with a man fresh out of prison. But Kenya says it was in the heat of the moment and thinks Phaedra should claim her insults as well.

Cynthia’s Health Issue

Before the season premiere, it was rumored Cynthia would admit to a longtime health problem and, in this episode, we learn that she suffers from fibroids. But Peter doesn’t “get it” and suggests she puts down the cupcakes. (I wish someone would…he’d draw back a nub!)

Later, the couple goes to visit Cynthia’s doctor, who validates Cynthia’s weight gain, etc. See, Peter, it’s not her fault! And the doctor recommends a hysterectomy or another (seemingly less invasive) therapy. Cynthia opts for the therapy because she doesn’t want to lose her uterus.

Mama Drama

Porsha moves into her mom’s house because of the divorce…and takes over her master bedroom. Yeah, there’s no way my mother would go for that. Then she gets a message from her divorce lawyer. Apparently her estranged husband Kordell is going to move her belongings over to her mom’s house and she’s not to pleased about it.

Meanwhile, Kandi’s mom is moving into Kandi’s old house. And, of course, the conversation turns to Kandi’s wedding. Mom says she’s hearing things about Todd on the streets. She’s still not aboard the Todd Train and thinks Kandi is being a Suga Mama because a man should be a provider. Hey, Kandi’s mom, it’s 2013. There’s a little thing called equality.

Then mom insults Kandi’s engagement ring and says Todd should’ve brought a “real ring.” But Kandi insists that’s the one she wanted and starts crying. Not cool, mom, not cool.

Next week: Phaedra and Apollo seem to get into a bit of a tiff and Kenya’s landlord calls the cops on her. What did you think of this week’s episode? Let us know in the comments!