‘Scandal’ Recap: The Price of Free and Fair Election
This season of Scandal, we laughed, we cried, we sipped our wine and we clutched our chests to keep from fainting after the pure shock and terror Shonda serves each week. But, we’re still here. We’ve stayed strong and endured to the end. Why?? Because Gladiators. Don’t. Quit! Well … at least we don’t. I can’t say the same for Olivia, but I digress …
Last week, Mama Pope planted a bomb in the church where VP Sally Langston and her flunky, Leo, were fake mourning a senator’s passing. Well, this week, we got to watch said church explode. Only, much to our dismay (and Cyrus’, I’m sure) Sally and Leo made it out alive and lived to see another day.
But let’s backtrack a bit. It takes a while, but Jake finally realizes that Cyrus never made the call to evacuate the church. He’s blowing up Cyrus’ phone like a salty side chick, but Cyrus keeps sending him to voicemail. So what does Jake do?? He does what any side chick would do when she’s being ignored and show’s up at Cyrus’ job. DUH!
Bursting into the oval office, just before Cyrus confesses his sins, Jake alerts the president that they have a problem. Next thing we know, the entire church is being evacuated, including Sally. As the last few attendees are being rushed out, the bomb goes off. If we didn’t know before, we know now: Jesus and Sally are really homies. Don’t be mad. Deal with it.
Being the evangelistic opportunist she is, Sally takes this tragic moment to curve the popular vote in her favor. After a pep talk from Leo, encouraging her to “Be Jesus,” the vice president starts bandaging up bomb victims and giving speeches. “We will find out who did this. We will be swift, we will be just, and we will be ruthless.” And I believe her. She killed a grown man with a letter opener. I’m not sure that this is what Jesus had in mind for her, but the woman is dangerous nonetheless.
Olivia and company stress to Fitz that he needs to get his act together and deliver a speech to the public regarding the bombing. At the same time, the press is covering Sally’s hero charade . So, Liv puts the pressure on the media to give precedence to the president ’s speech. She’s not feeing this split-screen foolishness. Next thing we know, the split screens come down and so does Fitz. All eyes are on Sally. As far as Liv is concerned, Fitz has just lost the election and Mellie wants a refund.
You had ONE job, Liv. This woman is letting you sleep with her husband. The least you can do is guarantee her four more years in the White House and 24-hour access to their seemingly unlimited stash of scotch. She hasn’t put the glass down for three episodes. Have you no mercy?
“Tell Daddy What’s Wrong”
On the other side of town, Rowan has been rushed to the hospital. Maya Pope has put the paws on him and now he’s bleeding from major arteries. Liv shows up to check on him and can’t spend five minutes in a room with her dying father without throwing a pity party for herself. Fitz is going to lose the election, she can’t make things right and life sucks. Boo-hoo. Rowan, seeming to have finally grown accustomed to this whole father thing, vows to help her fix things with Fitz and the election. They talk. They bond. They cuddle. Morphine is one heck of a drug!
Fast forward to somebody’s parking lot; Adnan has a gun on Harrison. She threatens to kill him, but punks out just in time for him to meet up with Abby and catch HuckleberryQuinn getting busy.
“Fitz….You Are The Fa- …Wait, never mind”
Meanwhile, Fitz and Olivia meet up at the White House. We think Fitz would be in his feelings about losing to Psycho Sally, but he’s not. He’s happy. He can now dump his wife and move to Vermont where he’ll make Liv a barefoot and pregnant, jam-making housewife. Maybe she likes people dying around her everyday more than making jam because Liv ruins it all. She tells Fitz that Big Jerry raped Mellie. Why would Mellie trust her? She’s a SIDE PIECE. Clearly she has no moral compass. GEEZ!
After that, Fitz forgets all about jam and goes to find his wife. She explains how she ordered a DNA test and found out Little Jerry is actually Fitz’s son. He kisses her on her forehead and holds her. They act married. She keeps one hand on the scotch though. It’s a good day for Mellie.
Back at the hospital, Liv is on the phone with Fitz. He wants her to be on the election campaign with him, but she whines about how inappropriate it would be for her to be there and hangs up. She goes back into Rowan’s room to finds Mama Pope just chilling like the villain that she is.
Liv takes this opportunity to not call for help, but ask her mama for closure. She wants to know if the first 12 years of her life were a setup. Maya reminds her that she’s a cold-blooded killer. So, if she didn’t care about Rowan, he would’ve been dead a long time ago. But, she’s still going to be a terrorist and blow stuff up and there’s nothing Liv can do about it.
“Gladiators Don’t Quit”
On the campaign trail, Little Jerry has a seizure during Fitz’s speech. We find out later that he passed away as a result. Everyone thinks Mama Pope did it. Fitz and Rowan put their petty differences aside and band together to find her.
Meanwhile, Olivia is in her feelings. She’s going to run away. She’s the problem. She’s the SCANDAL. She’s the one that needs fixing. She and her lady parts have wrecked too much havoc on the nation’s capital. They need to skip town so that the rest of the world can live in peace. I don’t blame her. How would you feel if your mom killed your boyfriend’s son?
Back at her apartment, Jake/Drake is begging live to take him with her. She says no. He begs. Wait for it…….
“Who’s Your Daddy?”
Just when I was thinking this season finale was starting to feel more like the SERIES finale (with all the loose ends being tied and whatnot), we find out Rowan actually killed Little Jerry!!! And he had Secret Service/B-613 Tom do it!! Poppa Pope is STILL command. Back like he never left … ‘cuz he didn’t. #Pow
Keeping the party going, Tom and Rowan roll up on Harrison. Tom pulls a gun on Harrison. He knows too much and he’s got to go. I bet GOOD money Columbus Short is now deeply regretting punching that guy in the face at the bar. Not to mention, there’s been way too many guns pointed in his face this season. He just might not make it to next season.
Now it’s all come down to this moment. I’m alone in my apartment with Boyz II Men “End Of The Road” on repeat and a half bottle of wine. I’m a little bit emotional. James is dead. Sally is still alive. Mellie finally got some action and Fitz discovers the truth about Big Jerry. HuckleberryQuinn are officially an item. Fitz won the election. Huck finds his family. Mama Pope is back in the hole. Harrison is awaiting the results of Columbus’ domestic violence charges and Drake, I mean Jake, finally got to ride off into the sunset with the woman of his dreams. Although, I’m convinced Oliva isn’t done. I mean, how many times is she going to get on a plane and not go anywhere? We’ll see.
But all and all, its been a bumpy breathtaking ride. I’m so happy I got to share it with all of you. Can’t wait to see what secrets next season hold. Until we meet again: peace, Gladiators. It’s been Scandalous.
About Kiki Camille
Kiki Camille is a Chicago native, member of Sigma Gamma Rho Sorority Inc. and DePaul University alumnus. The self-proclaimed “pop culture private eye” launched the Chicago-based entertainment/gossip blog Nosey Girl in 2011. Stay tuned every week for Kiki’s Scandal recaps. You can also follow her on Twitter and Instagram at @KikiCamille and @NoseyGirlTweets.