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‘Scandal’ Recap: Kiss Kiss Bang Bang

Last week’s episode of Scandal left us with one very important question: Who Got Shot?!

When we left off, Jake aka Command was pissed and pointing pistols at David and James. As it turns out, James ended up as the casualty here. I can’t even begin to act like I’m sad about this. His whining and utter disrespect for discretion was really starting to get on my nerves. Honestly, both him and David were useless in my opinion. No life-changer here Shonda, sorry.

You Can’t Handle the Truth

Meanwhile, at the White House, Fitz, Mellie and Olivia are discussing Fitz’s campaign strategy. Liv suggests that, given the current chain of events, Fitz pause the re-election campaign out of respect for Cyrus and his loss. Mellie on the other hand, being the crafty side wife she is, sees this as the perfect opportunity to gain votes. She advises Fitz to use the tragedy to his advantage and lobby for gun control. I still don’t see how Mellie does it. Everyone in Washington is killing their husbands. How is Fitz still alive again?!

Liv and her team realize that James’ death was no accident once she finds Vanessa Chandler missing from a White House press conference. This is where we realize just how clueless Liv really is. She runs right to Jake, the murderer, and tells him she thinks James was set up. WHY??!! Ugh, Liv!!

Jake takes a page out of the Rowan playbook and serves her a wine glass of reality. He confesses to killing James. Now what? Bad things happen to good people every day. Never mind that you’re his fake girlfriend that you just had sex two TV days ago. Accept that James died in a carjacking, or you’re next.

Jake scandal meme

“What’s the Point?”

After Jake sets Olivia straight, she runs straight to daddy. This is three episodes in a row now. Clearly Liv doesn’t learn. But, after talking to Jake, she needs someone she can trust; or, at least, someone she’s known longer. Before he rips her head off again she quickly lets him know that she doesn’t need the cynicism; she just needs her dad.

Liv wants to know, if everyone around her is a monster, what’s the point of democracy?? Then for once, a kinder, gentler Rowan emerges. He’s no longer Command, so there’s longer reason to keep secrets. He tells Liv that Jake had no choice but to kill James. As the head of command, Jake is responsible for killing a certain number of people. He decides who lives and who dies. He’s now the Hand of God and it’s total punishment, etc. But in the face of all the darkness that surrounds them he sees Liv as the light. *cue violin* Maybe next week they’ll play hopscotch?

Lose the Battle to Win the War

After a night of drinking and political banter, Andrew finally gets Mellie to drop her guard and her undies. And why not? Her husband’s a cheating prick and half of her kids aren’t his anyway. So, what the hell? Give the people what they want Mellie!!

Meanwhile, back at OPA, Huck finds out that Quinn stole information from the office safe. How you ask?? Because he put cameras in the safe. Duh! It’s HUCK! (that’s how). Anyway, he shows up to Quinn’s apartment with his toolbox again and I’m certain more than teeth are coming out this time. But it seems as though Quinn knew that she’d be seen. Maybe she wanted him to see her because she wanted out of B613 and back to being a gladiator? Apparently, this was sexy to Huck and he shoves his tongue down Quinn’s throat. Now THAT’s what a 30-second shocker is supposed to look like!! Forget about James! This changed me for real!!

Taking her father’s advice, sort of, Liv meets with David Rosen. She explains why James’ murder really isn’t Jake’s fault and asks him to help her take down B613. In order to do that, he must go along with Jake’s cover up plan and arrest this random man for the murder of James.

Then she breaks the news to Cyrus, confirming that James was carjacked. He goes into the White House pressroom to confirm James’ cause of death to the media. Finally, he breaks and bursts into tears mid-announcement. I didn’t care for James at ALL, but that cocktail of flashbacks, ’70s soul music and Cyrus’ tears had me feeling some kinda way.

I actually shed a tear for James, Cyrus and Jake, who we find apologized to James and stayed with him in his final moments. Now I’m sitting here, with Gladys Knight’s “You’re the Best Thing That Ever Happened to Me” on repeat, wondering where it all went wrong.

Scandal meme

Oh, the feels. What’s next, Shonda??

Can Cyrus cut it as a single parent? Is HuckleberryQuinn back? Why is Momma Pope so damn evil?? Let us know your thoughts in the comments!

About Kiki Camille

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Kiki Camille is a Chicago native, member of Sigma Gamma Rho Sorority Inc. and DePaul University alumnus. The self-proclaimed “pop culture private eye” launched the Chicago-based entertainment/gossip blog Nosey Girl in 2011. Stay tuned every week for Kiki’s Scandal recaps. You can also follow her on Twitter and Instagram at @KikiCamille and @NoseyGirlTweets.