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‘Scandal’ Recap: Gladiators Don’t Run

It is with deep regret that I must inform you that, after tonight’s episode, our Burberry trench coat flexing savior Olivia Pope is MIA. I’m accepting volunteers for the search party. But, all hope may be lost. It seems as if the entire second half of this season has been geared toward exposing all of Liv’s weaknesses, snatching her off of the pedestal we placed her on and diminishing her to nothing more than the average, overly emotional woman who lacks judgment poor judgment in men.

No Vermont

Case in point, this week, we find Liv still ticked off by Fitz’s behavior last episode. Refusing to simply be “the help,” she sends Abby to the White House in her place as campaign manager, while she sits at home and reflects on her life as the SPOTUS (Side Piece of the United States). And who can blame her? Fitz has reduced their entire relationship to nothing more than a casualty of war in Mellie’s 10-year sex strike. How unfortunate! I really wanted to learn how to make homemade jam.

Meanwhile, Liv is chatting with one of the other men in her life that she can’t trust: her dad, Rowan. But before she agrees to work with him, she makes him promise not to kill Fitz. Rowan agrees to not touch a “hair on Fitz’s head.” This means he’s probably going to touch a hair somewhere else on Fitz but …..he’s still going to kill him.

You know, most parents just get a vacation home and sip margaritas on the beach during retirement. Not Rowan. He’s out for revenge. Staying true to his promise to help her take down B613, he briefs Liv on how the organization has been electronically funding a secret account with small bits of civilian money. It’s not hopscotch, but it’s a start. And now YOU know where all of your hard earned tax may be going. Check your paystubs today. You’re welcome.

Let It Burn

Back at the White House, Mellie is avoiding Andrew like DNA test results and Jeannine Locke is giving the press a field day with her tell-all memoir, Taken For Granted, about her non-existent affair with Fitz. Sally Langston jumps at this opportunity to use Fitz’s sexual indiscretions to her political advantage and it seems to work. Jesus-1. Grant Administration-0.
Olivia told Abby not to call her unless the White House was burning. Now would be an appropriate time to call.

“What Do You Need?!”

Olivia returns to the White House to help, but not before she goes on this emotional tirade and tells Fitz how she really feels about his conversation with Mellie last week. Liv makes it clear that their relationship is now strictly about business. She will no longer barter her services for love and payment under the table (or ON the table). She will no longer be used by a man who makes promises he can’t keep. She’s not his on-call ego boost that he can summon to make himself feel sexy after his wife stops putting out. There is no Vermont. Long story short, you’re not going to play her Fitz. Cut the crap and cut the check.

And Fitz is just standing there like:

Petty

He later confesses to Olivia that what he “needs “is for the affair between Mellie and Andrew to stop. How selfish! But, never mind that. Liv marches right into Andrew’s office and gives him an ultimatum. He has to decide. It’s either Mellie or a political future. He has 24 hours to make a decision before the wrath of Olivia and her virgin Brazilian weave destroy his life.
Once Mellie finally decides to acknowledge Andrew, he’s already made a decision. Mellie wants another rendezvous, but Andrew hits her with the “just friends” card. Knowing Fitz had something to do this, and simply not being able to handle rejection, Mellie marches in to the Oval Office and slaps the Olitz out of Fitz:

MellieBeLike

“Open Up! It’s Jake…from State Farm”

Jake must have been sitting at B613 headquarters with Drake’s Nothing Was The Same album on repeat because he pops up at Liv’s place, in the middle of the night, drunk and unannounced. To his credit he did call. But calling when you’re already at the front door doesn’t count as notice. Anyway, he begs Liv to let him in. He misses her and wants his old life back. But she won’t let him in. Jake kicks the door a few times, mumbles something about giving Liv the chance to save him and walks off. Don’t Drake and drive, Jake.

“We Do What We Have To”

Liv and Rowan sit down for their weekly father-daughter date. Only this time, they both get a surprise! Maya Lewis…er, Pope…and Rowan threatened to kill each other and Maya tells Liv to stay out of her business. These family gatherings never go well. Someone should’ve called DCFS a LONG time ago.

Back at Olivia Pope & Associates, Huck approaches Olivia with a device that can retrieve all of the information they need to hack into B613’s secret account. The only catch is, someone has to be close enough to Jake to plant it. She’s reluctant, but Huck quickly reminds her of her mission. “We do what we have to,” he reminds her. So, Liv takes one for the team, shows up to Jakes apartment unannounced and almost gets shot. “Go ahead. Shoot me. It’ll be the best thing that happened to me all day.” Jake drops the gun when he sees it’s Liv. Then, she gives him the Olivia Pope Special: sex, false security and unlimited cuddle time. At least she’s able to plant the device without getting shot.

Liv gets the device back to Huck and he’s finally able to hack into B613’s system. He now has absolute power over the secret organization. All Liv has to do is say the word and the entire operation is shut down. What they don’t know is, Liv’s mom has a bomb, and B613 is watching her and now would probably be the worst time to flip off the electricity.

Liv quickly makes the call to “Shut it down.” Just like that, fade to black. No more B613. Well, what REALLY happened is, they shut down a few TVs. Nothing major. Bringing down B613 couldn’t possibly be that easy and it certainly wouldn’t have happened this quickly.

The Gladiators break out the champagne to celebrate and I’m waiting on the Scandal DJ to start playing Pharrell’s “Happy.” But just before their glasses of champagne can touch their lips, Jack has Olivia pinned up against a wall by her neck asking her what did she do. When she tries to lie her way out of the chokehold, Jake gives her a dose of reality, “You just killed the president!!” Thanks a lot, Liv!

Now, we all know Shonda’s not REALLY going to kill the president……..or will she??

YOUR TURN: Is B613 a necessary evil?? Who’s crazier; Momma Pope, Poppa Pope or Liv? Is Rowan using Maya to bring down Fitz and his administration? What does Maya really plan to do with that Bomb?

About Kiki Camille

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Kiki Camille is a Chicago native, member of Sigma Gamma Rho Sorority Inc. and DePaul University alumnus. The self-proclaimed “pop culture private eye” launched the Chicago-based entertainment/gossip blog Nosey Girl in 2011. Stay tuned every week for Kiki’s Scandal recaps. You can also follow her on Twitter and Instagram at @KikiCamille and @NoseyGirlTweets.