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Real Housewives Debate: Dating vs. Jump-Off

Last night I watched Bravo’s Real Housewives of Atlanta with my beloved uncle… and we almost came to blows.

Ok, not really. But we did get into a spirited debate about this whole notion of what constitutes a dating situation vs. a jump-off.

For those who didn’t watch yesterday, former NFL player Chuck Smith, a friend of NeNe Leakes and Phaedra Parks made some very offensive remarks to Parks. Smith, who had “relations” more than a decade ago with Kandi Burruss and Parks, shared that both women were only part of his “team” — basically jump offs.

Now the question of the day — and debate — is what makes a woman a jump-off?

Smith described his interactions with Parks and Burruss exactly the same way as the ladies did. Parks shared they went out and  he showed her around town when she was new to Atlanta and they were intimate on occasion. On a prior episode, Burruss shared that she and Smith hung out, intro’d each other to family and he bestowed gifts on her and her mama. Still Smith relegated both of these encounters to booty calls.


It’s interesting what the male ego — and an irate wife (enter his better half, Mynique) — can do to one’s memory.

Joe Budden’s said it best: “my jump off never has me going out of my way, she don’t want nothing on Valentine’s Day.”

A jump off is a hit and run. There are no dinners, business connections made or family gifts. Now don’t get me wrong, I have no doubt that Smith was much sought after during his single days, and was slinging more D than a dope dealer on the first of the month. That said, every chick you have sex with is NOT a jump-off or a slut hoping to use her special “pocketbook” to become your Missus.

I was both offended and surprised by his sexist and arrogant comments referring to Parks and Burruss as part of the line-up. He was dating — and so were they.  I guess he’s forgetting that most young women don’t mind sleeping a rich ball player while they are hunting for Mr. Right. This is not the 1950’s. Both men and women openly date and have sex outside of committed relationships. What does Smith have to gain my belittling his dating experience to make it seem like it’s all about the sex. Obviously, a man of his stature and status didn’t have to “pay”  to play. There are tons of women who he could bone without dining, helping them network and spending quality time with the family.

At this point we know that everyone you like doesn’t become your spouse. Smith has taken lying on your D (dating in this instance) to whole new low.

YOUR TURN: Was Chuck out of line?  Or was Phaedra living in a fantasy world?