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Real Housewives of Atlanta: “Puerto Read Co”

I realize that reality shows are based on warring factions, but there was always some kind of gelling action between Real Housewives of Atlanta castmates.  They had some reason to associate.  Not so on the current fractured mess that is RHOA aka the Cage Match of the Southern belles.  Is it just me or do the scenes seem extra forced, including this jaunt to Puerto Rico?

Demetria isn’t really fitting in, despite her largess in taking the ladies to PR.  Claudia is finally tired of watching a car wreck from the sidelines and spoke up to none other than the Queen Bee Nene herself.   Speaking of Mama Leakes, the duo of Phaedra and Nene is tenuous at best.  We all remember when they were ready to choke each other out over whether or not they knew each other in high school.

But here are the questions I had after watching and do let me know yours, plus add more.

Adventures in Podiatry: Why are we doing a ride along with Claudia to fix her feet?  If she didn’t want to take her shoes off in a shoe store, why get a consultation on national TV and bring the snarky Kenya with?  Girl, you were asking for ridicule.  Let the memes begin.

Kandi Koated Foolery: Why was there a “meeting” needed after Demetria got embarrassed at Kandi’s sex toy party?  Am I the only one who does NOT have friends that call meet-ups to discuss petty little topics?  I am thankful to have lived this long and never found myself at a bar discussing why I was so rude during a game of Taboo or forgot to bring the spinach dip for Girls Night In.  Meetings adjourned.

Room Service: Why was Porsha in the running for a suite?  Girl, you ain’t even got a peach.  Kandi should have just told this alternate castmate “hell nawl” instead of agreeing to the coin toss.  Also, Nene proved Ingrate of the Night with her comments about the “small” accommodations she was provided.  At least once she referred to it as a “closet.”  Ma’am, didn’t you get treated to this trip?  Tap into your “very rich” funds if you want more space.

Shaedra: She was called Fraudra, by the pun-loving Kenya, but  was”Shae-dra” in full effect this episode or what?  Her relentless and catty hating on Demetria’s singing engagement, not to mention her troubles with (get ready to write me a check, fella) Roger Bobb.  I realize Phae Phae is going through a thing with Apollo and her temperament is bound to shift, but she should have gotten flagged for unnecessary roughness on this particular occasion.  Retract claws, por favor, that is unless Andy Cohen is instructing you to do this to keep the show on the air.

Eight Is Enough: Does Phaedra have a bruise from that vicious hit that Demetria delivered to her?  After Demetria got tired of standing in the shade thrown by the so-called Southern belle, the actress and singer finally broke it down by saying the only thing she and her combatant have in common is “8.”  Roger Bobb was with Demetria for 8 years and Apollo is heading to jail for 8.  Halp.  That lethal line even made me yelp…and I was safe on my couch.

Reading Rainbow: Did Claudia get a degree in divatude before she joined this show?  She went OFF on Nene, questioning everything from her stripper club past to her college education to the whereabouts of her edges.  She made Nene so mad that she ridiculously retorted by calling her a “half breed.”  (That is awful and nonsensical.) We all know that the self-proclaimed queen aka rich b*tch does not do well with folks talking back.  And boy did Claudia talk back.  **fans self**

Final Note: I’d love for this show to try some new phrases.  What would happen if we got rid of “read,” “shade,” “move forward,” “so nasty and so rude,” and “twirl.”  I think the ladies would be quieter than Charlie Chaplin.  Your turn: Is Claudia your new fave?  Did you know she had it in her?