Halp Wanted: “Girlfriend Intervention”

Annoyed mother and daughter
Credit: Thinkstock

Hold up.  Wait a minute.

I did not just see the following description of an unscripted show in the Hollywood Reporter.

If you too want your jaw to meet the concrete, read the following passage here:

“Girlfriend Intervention stars four wise, poised and stylish African-American women, who, in each episode, help a white sister seeking a complete makeover to restore her confidence and inner glow. Making over their wardrobes, beauty routines, homes and minds, they teach these women how to embrace and celebrate their lives, speak their mind, lighten up and love themselves again. Our four experts carry themselves with a great deal of pride, style and, most importantly, self-confidence. Where does it come from and how can it be obtained? Who better to teach a woman how to get that sparkle in her eye and spring back in her step? Each week, Girlfriend Intervention follows a woman whose personal space and self-esteem are in desperate need of a major makeover and a life-giving dose of diva inspiration. Our hosts, beauty pro Tracy Balan, home and sanctuary guru Nikki Chu, style and fashion maven Tiffiny Dixon and soul coach Tanisha Thomas, help these women break it down and tell it like it is.”

Why did Lifetime greenlit this?  I mean, seriously.  To turn a phrase from Internet meme, Spirit of Truth, “by who power” did this come to be?

Despite all the Tinsel Town speak, this synopsis boils down to: Sassy Black women sharing their finger waggin’ sass with a White girl.

One would think that in 2014 we’d be beyond this Magical Negro/The Help/Sassy Black Friend Who Takes No Mess mumbo jumbo, but here comes Girlfriend Intervention to suggest we’re two snaps away from seeing a remake of Soul Man on the big screen.

I’m not even going to go the extra careful step of saying I’ll wait until I see the first episode to judge it.

Oh, I am judging it right now and judging hard.

This is either one of the worst written description of all time or a concept that needs to immediately go the way of All My Babies’ Mamas I’ll give you my feisty Black woman advice, producers: Exit, stage right.  And add a finger snap to that.