I recently had a chance to watch the finale of Bravo’s new show Blood, Sweat & Heels and I have to admit I was a little shocked. Much of the episode focused on the ladies resolving their issues around how to support and be a true friend to Mica Hughes — and some of the ladies were a tad harsh!
On the first season, we saw Hughes deal with issues surrounding her boyfriend, business and estranged father. Most of it’s done while sipping wine (no judgement, ok maybe a little), and some of the cast took issue with Hughes’ lack of sobriety and outrageous behavior.
One specific event of the season that caused much uproar was Hughes’ unraveling after her father’s death — she arrived to meet up with the ladies drunk and emotional. Apparently, that straw broke the camel’s back.
The cast immediately split into pro- and anti- Mica factions, some calling her an alcoholic and the others saying she was just a girl who likes to have a good time, but had a bad day. Each heavily campaigned on how she should run her life. They even set up an intervention. Unfortunately, the ladies who spearheaded it went about it all wrong.
Here’s what NOT to do when you’re trying to help an associate whom you believe may have a substance misuse problem:
1. No Tag Teaming — Interventions are really best done with close family and friends. Having a bunch of folks who you know socially tell you how to “get your life” won’t likely be well-received.
2. No Name Calling — Throwing out labels — like alcoholic — automatically puts someone on the defense. Focus on the behavior, such as “It concerns me that you…”
3. Do Bring Empathy — Put yourself in the person’s shoes.
4. Do Offer Support – Let the person know you care about them and what you are willing to offer.
Hopefully, we’ll get to see what happens with Hughes and crew in a few months!