Basketball Wives Lesson: Behind the Mate Hate

I’m about to tap out of Basketball Wives for the season.

Let me say this: I am all for love. And I understand that at times it can be blind. But even love isn’t also deaf, dumb and stupid.

For that reason alone I am finding it increasing difficult to watch Evelyn Lozada pine over the loss of Chad Johnson (a man she’s known for all of two years) while she cut off her BFF Jennifer Williams (her bestie of around a decade) with no qualms or tears–think jagged unclean machete style–for protesting a relationship EVERYONE can see was doomed from the first text.

Even worse than the tear-stained cheeks Ev is constantly sporting is the revelation that her daughter also protested the coupling. Shaniece, 19, seems to have a great head on her shoulders — job well done on that front to her mom— and has spoken sagely to her mother about her and Johnson’s history of immaturity and self-centered disposition. She even shared that she asked her mother not to be with him. As my mother would say from the mouth of babes…

That said, I think think the universal lesson here is that there is a reason to take heed when the people you love most aren’t feeling your choice of significant other. In most cases, they aren’t simply “hating.”

People who truly love you want you to be with someone that complements you and brings out your best self. In addition, since they aren’t (at least hopefully) on the receiving end of good sex or cash from this person, they possess the ability to be more objective.

Lastly, anyone who requires you to make compromises of character or self-esteem (i.e. understanding habitual one-sided infidelity) isn’t helping you be your best self— and your peeps see that.

The message of the day is simple: If the people you love can’t stomach your mate, you may want to reconsider why you can.