Don’t Post Struggle Meals. Just Don’t.
So, the already complicated game of love is even more complicated, thanks to social media.
First, you have to walk the delicate line between stalking and supporting your mate. (To like/favorite/re-tweet or not to like/favorite/re-tweet.)
Second, you’ve got to make sure you’re not making all your friends gag with profile images of you and your honey, cheeks pressed together in the I’m-so-not-single-selfie.
And third, the decision of whether or not to announce your togetherness online. (Personally, I only advise you to do it if there’s an engagement and even that can be iffy.)
But that’s everyday stuff.
As the holidays come upon us, swiftly rising to the top of the trends is a social specter more ominous than the Ghost of Christmas Future. I give you: struggle meals also known as struggle plates.
Gorier than the extras on The Walking Dead, showier than a Vegas vacation twitpic and often accompanied by hashtags that make about as much sense as Gucci Mane tweets, this horrific site serves two purposes (a) demonstrating you are probably cooking with your childhood Easy Bake Oven and (b) you are so blinded by your desire to stunt on ’em, you have lost the ability to see the culinary catastrophe you have wrought.
The struggle meal is such a thing that there is an actual countdown to Turkey Day on the hilarious Instagram account cookingforbae. The curator, who puts Fake G Garvins on full blast, snatches up the worst of the food pictures ever shared and lays them out in their embarrassing online glory. Woe betide the man or woman who was forced to ingest one of these awful meals of burned hot dogs, half-cooked fish or (gah) crispy looking mac n’ cheese. Or…whatever this is… (cringes)
Do yourself a favor. Do not end up on cookingforbae.
Believe me, though I’ve been told I’ve got some gourmet skills and have developed specialties from seafood gumbo to glazed duck, I too have prepared a meal or two I would care not to share with the world. Truth be told, one ought to have been taken outside and shot– and not with a camera.
So even though we know you want to impress friends, family or that new love in your life, exercise just a touch of restraint, particularly if you are not a seasoned cook.
Raise your right hand and say it with me.
“In the name of Keeping it 140: Cook it, eat it, but don’t shoot it.”
There will be a time when you’ll concoct a meal so gorgeous it will practically beg to be photographed and projected in Times Square. But till then, it’s really not worth the risk of serving yet another struggle meal to the masses. We just don’t have the appetite.
Updated on 11/18: You know it’s hard out here in these streets when Martha Mother Freaking Stewart puts up an ugly food pic. Look at this hot mess. **cringes**
Iceberg wedge with homemade Russian dressing. Perfect salad for the onion soup lunch pic.twitter.com/KQatWUKUdl
— Martha Stewart (@MarthaStewart) November 17, 2013