Ask Neycha: Holiday Blahs

2008-12-04

Dear Neycha:
Dear Neycha:
Every year around this time I get so blah.  I don’t know whether it’s winter or the holidays or both.  But I just end up feeling sad.  This year seems especially hard, even though there were no major changes in my life.  My husband is cool.  I have a decent job and a wonderful six-year old.  But nothing seems to cut it.  I feel like I just want to stay in bed for an extended vacation.  Conversations are irritating, and leaving the house even to go out with friends is a drag. My sleep is messed up. I just feel joyless.  Is this normal?  Do I need to see a shrink?
~Winter Blues, Boston

Dear  Winter Blues:
See a shrink?  Well my dear I believe everybody can benefit from a bit of couch time in their lifetimes whether clinically challenged or just a tad off center.  Focused and in-depth self-inquiry does the soul good.

Are you Clinical?
First WB, know that the sense of blah you describe around this time of year is completely normal - it affects approximately 11 million other people according to The University Of Maryland Medical Center.  Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD), not to be confused with “winter or holiday blues”, is a clinically diagnosed mood disorder that usually occurs during the winter months.  Decreased sunlight is believed to have a great impact on SAD.  If you specifically experience “the blues” every winter, then you may want to consider being screened by a licensed therapist for SAD.

Or Just Funky?
If on the other hand WB, your bouts of blah with this time of year are infrequent, then I recommend you take inventory of the numerous factors that contribute to holiday blues and attempt to better manage or eliminate these factors. They include: •increased stress  •burn out  •over-inflated expectations  •inability to be with family or loved ones •reminders of past holiday celebrations •holiday over commercialization  •diet, sleep and routine changes.

Remember that not just our thoughts, but also the patterns, routines, and beliefs we subscribe to along with the people, and entertainment we expose ourselves to often influence how we feel.  FEELING FUNKY is usually a pesky reminder that it’s time to stop some things and start others.  If you want to FEEL better this season, here are some dos and don'ts:

The Do’s
1. Allow yourself to have the normal feelings of sadness and/or loneliness that are common during this time of year.
2. Take extra good care of yourself – eat healthy, sleep enough, exercise your body – often, and increase the light in your house.
3. Do something for someone else.
4. Let go of the past and focus on the new.
5. Spend time with people that make you giddy inside.
6. Reach out to someone with whom you have lost touch or need to forgive.
7. Communicate meaningful words to someone, or several people that you’ve been meaning to say for a long time.
8. Be grateful.  Write out a gratitude list every night and repeat it out loud every morning.

The DON'Ts
1. Don’t overindulge in eating, drinking, drugging, smoking, etc.
2. Don't have over-inflated expectations for yourself or others.
3. Don't dwell on the past.
4. Don’t focus on the negative.
5. Don't focus on what you don't have.
6. Don't spend money you don't have.
7. Don’t try to be every thing to every one.
8. Don’t forget that this time is but a season; the sun will indeed shine again.

If all else fail WB, give yourself the gift of one hour a day for the 12 days of Xmas and use that hour to camp inside your favorite song or movie.  Fantasy Breaks, if used in moderation, are powerful tools lovey.  Splurge on twelve.  Happy holidays!

 

 

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Ashamed of my Past
Getting Funked
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Any information or advice given not intended to provide an alternative to or replacement for professional advice or the services of your physician, psychotherapist, or psychiatrist.