Attorney shares how to avoid baby mama drama...
By S. Tia Brown
Establishing a child’s paternity isn’t as private of a matter as it used to be.
Between social media, talk shows and reality television, deadbeat parents are being put on blast and held to accountability in a very public way. Attorney Lauren Lake’s new show, Paternity Court, gives men and women an opportunity to vent their frustrations and establish paternity of children. According to Lake, the show isn’t simply about getting to a check; it’s about checking irresponsibility at the door.
Lake shares five lessons that will help adults avoid baby mama drama:
1. Protect Yourself During Sex. “I feel like we have gone back a couple of decades and people are having sex like it’s a recreational activity without understanding the consequences as it relates to disease or pregnancy,” she shares.
2. Attention Young Women: You’re Never Going to “Out Sex” a Man. “This whole thing of anything a man can do a women can do better doesn’t work when it relates to sex,” she warns. “A woman sleeps with five young men but only one of you all is going to end up pregnant — and that you need to be clear about. I have girls coming in saying: ‘He cheated on me three times, so I cheated with his friend…’ But now you’re the one who’s pregnant standing here in paternity court.”
3. “Me Time” is Replaced by “In the Mean Time.” “It’s women who have to be responsible, because ultimately, while you’re trying to figure out who the child’s father is for those three years, that baby is looking at you,” she warns. “That’s just the realization women have to understand and own. While you’re trying to get a DNA test that baby still has to eat.”
4. Learn How to Communicate, Honestly. “As much as our show is about paternity, it’s also about relationships gone bad. The reason we’re having the paternity issue is because there was no honest dialogue around the relationship not working, or not being sexually attracted, simply just not being great together, not wanting to be committed to one person,” offers Lake. “Communication is key because that will help you decide whether it’s a relationship you want to be in or whether your should be sleeping with the person without any protection.”
5. Don’t Use Children as Pawns. “That’s an important one I see in our courtroom, where it’s you’ll never see this child again if you don’t do this, or you’re with another woman now so I’m not going to let you visit the child. Don’t use a child as a weapon.”
Paternity Court airs daily. Check your local listings for time.