Basketball wife lends controversial counsel ...
By S. Tia Brown
Now that Love and Hip Hop Atlanta is over (single tear), I’ve moved on to one of my oldies but goodies,VH1′s original industry reality show hit… Basketball Wives.
Of course, the season kicked off with Evelyn Lozada lamenting over the demise of her relationship with Chad Johnson (a well-known bad boy NFL star). About three weeks after their wedding last summer, Johnson head-butted his new wife after she questioned him about receipts she found for condoms while in his car — apparently, they weren’t for her.
The producers did a great job of showing how torn Lozada was after the devastating change in the course of her marriage. Despite what happened, she still considered Johnson to be her friend. He was the man she promised her tomorrow to. And, despite his publicly-known philandering ways, she genuinely expected a change in him. Lozada was hurt and uncertain about what next steps to take. Not-so-surprisingly, her friends had suggestions.
While some cast members suggested she focus on healing, Tami Roman, one of the more controversial characters on the show, suggested that she actively try to rekindle with Johnson. Roman, who stated her stance would receive a lot of raised brows, passionately shared that everyone deserves another chance, that it was important to “have faith” in a person’s ability to change and that you can’t expect to grow a relationship if you’re not in it.
Insert sigh here…
Obviously, most people and circumstances merit a second chance. But there are couple of variables Roman neglected in this equation:
1. The ladies admitted that Johnson has a cheating problem
2. The ladies admitted that Johnson had at least “shaken” Lozada in the past
3. The ladies admitted that Johnson had not taken any steps to rectify his behavior with Lozada, her daughter or close family
Watching the show, I kept thinking Roman’s stance was more about having that “happily ever after”— life with a baller sans money woes but replete with drama— then about what is really safe, smart and healthy. While it is important to have faith is someone, it is also important to wait until they show you they are ready to change. While all men can get a pass, the amount of exceptions made for men of means (athletes, entertainers, etc…) is ridiculous.
While Lozada is a certified “mean girl” on television, no woman deserves that treatment from her mate. And, while some believe karma can come back on you in many forms, her resilience after this blow — no pun intended— is indeed commendable. When it comes to personal safety and your heath, the only person you can have faith in saving you is yourself.